Church yesterday rattled my cage BIG time!
The corrective lesson speaks about the things in our lives that have intoxicated us.
As I sit at the clinic waiting my turn, 2 things astound me…the selflessness of medical people to deal with the sick etc and the volume of need.
As for myself my needs lay more in the fact that I have way too many areas in my life that have become intoxicated to the point that even though I am, by definition a Christian, by example anything but.
I GOT WORK TO DO.
And in these circumstances it is selflessness I need. Not a Dr but a Surgeon is required.
As I read through Matthew 6 the stand out thing for me is the hypocrisy of humanity and perhaps especially of mine.
Comfort vs Growth
Christian vs MY OWN WAY
Success vs Self-Acceptable
Over the years through therapy I have learnt a bit about my character flaws and strengths….BUT lately I see that it is ALL circumstantial based on what I am doing and what I expect others to be doing while I am doing it. EG: In the bedroom I wanted my partner to be dominant as long as I was in control and free to play as the mood suited me….like hello!
So do what I want, the way I want it & when I want it!
A word describes this very well….NARCISSISM!!
The action of yesterday’s teaching was to stay concious in the moment and allow God”s Principles and His Spirit to guide my choices as I walk out of INTOXICATION.
This prayer from Matthew 6 is the Perfect place to start…I guess.
So as I wait in the medical queue knowing that both my body and my soul need some attention, I chuckle a little too loud. The lady next to me shifts uncomfortably. Ironical. Perhaps God is having a chuckle knowing what’s coming; as HE does!
It has dawned upon me that in the “Start Again” the foundations of our lives get reformed to reflect & support the us we were meant to be.
I know I have chased money, sex, success, admiration from others above you and much more. I know too well I have been intoxicated ,literally, in more ways than I can remember. God I ask you to please help me allow you to perform that God surgery you know I sooooooooo desperately need. Help me stay concious in my decision to become what you made me to be and to be more useful to you.
God thank you for never giving up on me even when I do on myself…I simply cannot be who I have become another intoxicating moment longer.
Thank you Jesus.