Beds of Roses

When I cut roses from the garden sometimes the thorns are a right royal so-and-so. I am kinetic as a person so feeling things is important to me. That’s why I love dancing. Feeling the sound and my body responding to it is a thrill. I guess it’s the same for relaxation. My best relaxation is walking; especially in nature. But not ‘bundu’ bashing….a bit more civilised suits me just fine thank you very much. It’s also why I hate malls and casino’s….too much visual and audio assault going on. 

I have had to stop myself sometimes in the queue from touching random strangers hair or feeling the fabric of their garment…CAN YOU IMAGINE!

Saturday night was an absolute struggle. I declined a movie date with a friend as I was tired of people…I should have gone. Stuff I had been waiting for got delivered half done. Due to lack of decent communication I missed the movie. At the shop a dealer pounced out of nowhere. So by 6:30 I was so ready to just be stupid. I think the devil ( u can call it what you like) knows exactly how to rile us up. The exact circumstances with the right motivation,  blinded logic and a wounded heart is all we need to step onto the roads marked sabotage and shame.

Thankfully with serious prayer and church in the AM and a bit of a sleeping pill  I managed to resist. I felt like a king when I woke up!!

Rivers Church in Sandton spoke about: “Standing firm through our trials”. Funny that!  What stood out for me was: Not smelling like fire when we have been refined by those trials. Too often it’s so easy to want sympathy so we, myself included, do everything to look wounded. FLIP DID I DO THAT VIA WHATSAPP LAST NIGHT….aaaargh. The point is not about faking a smile and pretending life is a bed of roses either. It simply means change our perspective. Focus on an attitude of gratitude. In particular focus on the fact that Love is what the world was formed in. FOCUS ON GOD’S WAY.

The roses looked gorgeous this AM after I had finished my run so I took a pic. I laughed because I wasn’t sure how the pic would end up in my blog but knew it would. 

Sometimes a prick from a  thorn reminds me to be cautious…so I am. (For a while…it’s tough being a curious one) At 42 I also see that in hindsight the things that hurt us when examined taught us things about ourselves. 

EG: My dad and I never saw eye to eye. In fact I wished him dead many times if I am to be honest. It was about 5 years after his death that I forgave him. I mean imagine being a typical Boere man and your 1st born son says he wants to do ballet. My dad must have been crushed, confused and embarrassed. I never did ballet; regrettably.When I saw the world from his perspective  I could get over myself and forgive him. Eventually even love and miss him. But it was toooooooo late.

Perhaps that’s  why I get so peeved when kids don’t at least forgive their parents..once they are gone they are GONE. And yes the night will come when you cry yourself to sleep about a choice made. Both my parents are gone…..I know!!!!

Lately I am doing a lot of apologising for impulsive reactions. But at least I am seeing the roses instead of the thorns in myself much more.

I think it’s actually true…. when we focus on the truth it does actually set us free. A thorn prick will always be sore! If I was a rose I would also protect my beauty with thorns. Wouldn’t you?

Maybe that’s why we are taught to “Guard our hearts”

I think God does the same….he let’s us feel the prick of our choices so that we can learn who we are not from them. I know I struggle to learn from the mistakes of others.

IF ONLY I DIDN’T NEED TO FEEL FOR MYSELF!

So even though my roses may look a little whilted the thing I am trying to remember is…..even after the petals have fallen off they still have a beautiful smell. 

Turn them in Potpourri!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s