Grateful that I live to tell the tale. Many don’t get that luxury!
Yesterday has to be one of the most bizarre days ever. It has left me feeling disturbed. Friend requests from fake profiles posing as prophets, an ex sniper wanting a date, a stranger asking for a lift to a shoot on messenger and a msg from a fellow rehab patient that I haven’t heard from in jonks. Too much for a man’s brain to deal with. Especially when he was donning the “Domestic” cap on and forcing himself to do house chores……aaaaargh.
This last week has been tough on the emotional scales having to make amends for history long gone, saying goodbye to a place of refuge and teaching and putting my foot down to not be around people drinking. All of this while our country seems to be at the pinnacle turnaround of false attitudes.
I am no-one with minimal influence but I have seen and done stuff that might help those that also feel bombarded by this hurly burly world.
Years ago at my “den of iniquity” ,of choice, Therapy I met a Brazilian guy with an English accent living in NY on vacation in SA. Interesting right? Being Arion I was captivated. I love the unusual! ( but not scary unusual ) He made a statement I will never forget.
SOUTH AFRICANS HAVE A BLACK WOMAN NATURE.
Most SA’s have been raised by a black nanny while our parents worked to provide. I agree with this statement.
Having grown up with a racist father. I remember him trying to get me arrested for having a black friend……the neighbours nannys son. Even at my, then, all boy whites only school I was frowned upon for being vocal about the equity of rights for gender, race and ‘class’ of person. I told you I have a humanitarian heart.
After school I needed to prove to myself if I was indeed “all people” loving. I went out with a mission and had sex with different race groups. And done so since.
It is quite funny these days as a ‘whitey’to experience the same race discrimination..this time with me being judged for being white. DON’T JUDGE ME! I have been laughing at the stories of the uber drivers telling me of white madam’s in Sandton after a night out trying to solicit sex from them….so gangsta! I mean a driver even told me how he had to drop a woman off on the side of the M1 because she got naked and started masturbating in the car….I mean really! Sandton doll have u ever…..lol.
In the past 4 weeks trying to get my life back to the truths I must live by, have been hectic. As I had given up my home to help others who needed help I had a cottage with a bed, couch and table top stove. Less to clean thank goodness! The plan was that I would furnish this home over time. I mean I was at my ex’s most nights anyway.
The relapse happened, relationship ended and bam I was in my little sparse home. Many offered help but when it came to the crunch fizzled into the woodwork. I AM GLAD THOUGH AS I ONLY OWE 3 FAVOURS.
Having to scrape to put food in my belly has been a great journey of seeing what I am capable of doing with my minimal. Kinda like the poverty line of our majority SA.
What is the point to these seemingly unrelated stories!
I am no politician and most I think are power hungry megalomaniac’s anyhow.
In a country where we hate each other isn’t it perhaps time that we step out of our lush high walls both literally and figuratively to investigate if we have things in common that we can build on.
Take it from a man who has done that journey a while ago…..as scared as whites are of other races so are they of us. The truth is the Devil/negativity (whatever you want to call it) likes to divide people as it is then easy to destroy.
DIVIDE AND CONQUER.
I grew up believing in loving your neighbour….my mommy wanted to be a nun….so obviously that was a strong lesson.
Forgiveness was another.
I know that there are many skelms out there and I was one once myself. Not because I wanted to but because I had to. Being a slave to a drug is not a joke. Danrnit and I am still smoking……aaaaargh.
But here is the thought:
IF WE TRUST OUR CHILDRENS LIVES TO NANNIES AND HAVE A FASCINATION WITH SEX ACROSS THE COLOUR DIVIDE AND KNOW THE PAIN OF HAVING STRUGGLES…..SHOULDN’T WE STOP THE PRETENDING AND START LOOKING AT REAL SOLUTIONS TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBOUR.
Alexander is not so far from Sandton doll…..and a desire for learning should never be denied….the opposite is far more treacherous. 1st world slums are a great indicator of what lies ahead if we don’t try get along.