When I first made the choice to try follow a particular faith I was in House of Mercy rehab. The Christian Bikers association came and spoke to us patients. A little A5 printout told a story of a biker driving off a cliff. The biker was so busy staring into his rear view mirror he didn’t see the treachery ahead.
This story was such a snapshot of my own life. At the time I was a less than law abiding citizen……lol. (not that it is a laughing matter) I was dealing to support my habit and learning to manufacture chems too. ( how deep I was getting into the underworld…..aaaaargh) I was sooooooooo accustomed to checking for cops and also looking out for the “dark forces” that chased me to. Flip I did some crazy things….I will tell those stories one day.
Anyhow soon after I was given a book written by Christian councillor from the USA. It might have been called ‘ Waking the dead’. It told the story of his mens group who would annually embark on a guy mission to the mountains to camp. In my naivete I told GOD that I would not go out on New Years eve and meet him in the mountains. I did. Not that Magalies is much of a mountain range compared to the Drakensberg but that is where I went.
On arriving in the Magalies there was a huge billboard with a sign saying ‘Greensleeves’ (I think ‘greensleeves’) and an arrow pointing left. I WENT RIGHT. I often do the exact opposite of what GOD tells me to do……in part it is my rebellious nature….in part it is my eccentric nature that loves making my own rules….kekekeke.
3hrs later my butt was numb and quite embarrassed and frustrated I told GOD that I was going home. I was glad I was alone. As I drove back up to the sign, again I heard that little voice say ” Arion just follow the arrow.” (many call it gut/ intuition….actually that is GOD trying to help us from making mistakes) So I did. I found a patch of land that wasn’t fenced off. I parked my silver-blue Toyota Runx under the pine-needle tree’s. As I ascended the hill I kept looking over my shoulder to check that my car wasn’t being jacked……aaaaaaand I guess because of paranoid habit.
I tripped and landed face first onto the little koppie. I looked up to see if anyone had seen me. I saw it and tears flooded not only my eyes but my entire being.
Someone had spray-painted on the rock. BOLD IN WEATHERED WHITE PAINT STOOD THE WORDS: “JESUS THE ROCK”.
Now there is no way to argue that a guy with a simple idea of meeting GOD for a chat could’ve taken himself to that particular spot, tripped at the particular rock and find that particular message left by a someone sometime ago. I didn’t have a plan or an idea or how or where or in what form I would NOW MEET GOD.
The only reasonable argument is that GOD chose to answer my prayer this way and lead me to this place to tell me HE heard me.
IT WAS LIKE THE MOVIE “THE TRUMAN SHOW”….scary and exhilarating all at once.
I wept for hours pacing up and down. GOD was not only REALLY real but that he cared enough for me to wanna talk to ME. Understand that just before rehab I had attempted to hang myself. ( poor attempt that nearly worked had my friend Lika not caught me in time)
Some time went by.
I started a process Christians call Deliverance Prayer. It is a process where one investigates any historic, genealogical or spiritual gateways into the the “dark” sides of life. Well naturally I could tick MANY boxes. The prayer involves disassociating oneself with any stuff that is deemed less than holy…..mine went on for weeks and weeks…
After one of these sessions I got home and just needed to pray ON MY OWN. (Because spiritual stuff has always been part of me I easily great freaked out by it. So where no-one could see me I asked GOD if what I was doing was cool or hocus pocus)
As I knelt in my bedroom in Parkhurst in my friend Yvonne’s home I got shown the most mind blowing picture. It was almost like I was transported to the day Jesus died on the cross. For arguments sake….if the bible is just a fairytale…( I disagree with the fairytale idea TOTALLY)…then this next story will blow your mind….TRULY.
I was staring at the cross. JESUS hanging there. ( At this point I only vaguely knew the bible from Sunday school days)
Anyhow I saw a chunk of wood that was in the ground ( where we live) vertical and pointing to heaven. Another chunk of wood, horizontal, with Jesus’s arms stretched out and nailed to it.The blood trickled down and splattered to the earth ( where we live) I saw him lift his head to heaven and say “Father it is done.” I saw that at where the center of this cross was ‘more or less’ his torso hung and in the exact center one would find his heart. The drum of his heart was deafening as it died slowly.
I heard Father say:”The blood that spills soaks the whole earth for all people. The outstretched arms represent the THE FROM BEGINNING OF TIME TILL THE END OF TIME. The heart in the center is the link between heaven and earth.
Now for arguments sake say this is a fairytale what a flippin amazing story of a picture of what LOVE looks like.
You see LOVE always lays itself down that the LOVED can know LOVE.
I don’t have to obsess about my past mistakes and look for cops anymore. I can boldly look ANY man in the eye and not be terrified of being NOT MAN enough because I now know….that I am on earth for a reason.
MY REASON IS NOT YOUR REASON AND VISA VERSA. AND AS THAT PICTURE OF LOVE TAUGHT ME….I WILL DIE FIGHTING TRYING TO LOVE EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT.
love does not claim; possess; or demand.
IT SIMPLY IS.
LOVE IS A CHOICE.