Working in the kitchen at Rivers Church on Sunday was hectic. I arrived late and was flung into the mayhem of preparing pies to sell….gorgeous ones at that I might add. This proved taxing especially after a very late night watching a brilliant performance at the Venue in Melrose Arch.
Exhausted I nearly chose to skip sitting in on a service. I am glad I didn’t. The message centered around not settling for second best. Do I know all about that subject…..way to well actually!
Years ago a friend left me pondering a hectic statement: “Arion you are the kind of person that even nothing is something.” As tough as it was to hear I had to agree. For years I settled for whatever I could get. This, I guess, was partly because I didn’t feel deserving of a place in this world. Even when I first chose to become a Christian I was too embarrassed to tell God about the things I really thought I was keeping a secret.
WHEN I heard the statement:” God sees you having sex”, I nearly died. I really wanted the earth to swallow me whole.
The story of Mary Magdalene is a great reflection of how God saves us but then wants us to consciously choose to let him change us.
I started reading John 4 today and the story of the Samaritan woman at the well getting taught about LIVING WATER reminded me again that everything has been seen by God.
Daily I struggle to fit into the mayhem of life’s kItchen. Daily I have to fight the parts of me that want to be comfortable.
As God has changed me the more I realise just how much I need the tender rebel Jesus is. Will I get it all right before I die….most definitely not.
I am grateful that I don’t have to be stuck where I was settling for a life of ‘nothing somethings’.
Much to the dismay of many around me as I find my feet and voice I don’t have to pretend that second-hand love/ friendships/ colleagues/ acquaintances etc are more than just that.
As in when I do my duties filling up pies in the coffee shops I so too am reminded to constantly check myself that my intentions towards myself and others are pure……even if they don’t perceive it so.
All I know is that living water has grown me from empty to stronger…
Where it will lead who knows? Will I always follow willingly….probably not? But I guess God is big enough to handle that……he made me after all…..lol.
Thank you for your incredible patience with me. Forgive my stubbornness. Thank you for the grace in my life that allows me to grow to be more like you even when I am kicking and screaming to stay the same. Thank you that you are living water. I know this to be true because I am not who I used to be ,so much, anymore. I am not sure how you do what you do but thank you for doing it. Help me to keep drawing closer and closer to you.
In Jesus name