50 Shades of Luv

People may disagree about 50 Shades but I am loving it. Not because it  is a cheap perv, but because I appreciate the questions being examined. 

In both movies the play between darkness and light and normal and kinky get my creative mind jumping through hoops of delightful self-examination.

As a creative boy growing up in a deeply scarred and oppressive SA, I often didn’t have outlets to truly express my inner being. Much of that repressed child later became a rebel of over self-indulgence and destruction.  No I am not saying that I am into S&M. Certainly though the idea of surrendering to a lover willingly and exploring  is appealing. And let’s be honest we all have some fantasies that seem too personal to share. Not all necessarily  sexual either. 

For me the brilliance in Shades is not in the plot or the acting or  the cinematography but the psychology of human desire.

Why do we desire what we desire? Why do you like that and I like this?

In another movie “Damaged Goods” I was surprised by the unexpected storyline. I was expecting something completely different. But was intrigued by the characters experience of love vs sex.

Deliberately wearing a provocative Shibari rope sleeve I delighted in seeing people shocked, intrigued, scared, revolted or drawn to it. 


I did it not to promote sordid behaviour but as an experiment of how people judge a book by its cover. Not one dared to ask me,” Why are you wearing that?” Assumptions were made and that was that.

With friends Ella and Damien thoroughly enjoying the spectacular of reactions the conversation over dinner danced around life. 

‘Warm and Glad’ a fusion eatery on Jan Smuts is a must try. Interesting combinations of food and delightful decor set one up for a rather magical evening.

Kinbaku or commonly known as Shibari is the ancient Japanese art of rope binding. I discovered this a few years back when researching rope harnesses for a hair show I was doing. Some of the pics are quite brutal but the methodology is intriguing.


The highlight for me about 50 Shades was the characters struggle to break behavioral patterns and confront their own perceptions. At 43 (in April….11….lol) I have seen many times that what people portray to the world is hardly what actually lives in their hearts.

All I know is this that when we face ourselves truthfully and without judgement is when true healing begins. IT ALL STARTS WITH ADMITTING! OR BUSTING ONESELF….


Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Two incredible artists, Ella and Damien chuckling at the reactions to my little number designed to alarm some peeps into thinking…..naughty naughty!!!

It was only 5/6 years ago at 37 that I accepted/admitted that I am creative. In my youth in the social environment I was raised…Boys don’t dance, boys don’t sing, boys don’t draw, boys play rugby, box or wrestle. So the struggle of allowing myself to just be who I am designed to be was torturous. 


The piece that created a little drama…lol!

Be your beautiful self! Stay honest!




2 thoughts on “50 Shades of Luv

  1. Beautiful Ar ,
    Please let’s not be too hard on ourselves and as we grow happier and more complete , allow for our light to outshine our dark , allowing for it metamorphosise, slowly integrating and therefor not overpowering us , but allowing for us to thrive along with it , for it too must share a purpose in G-DS wisdom .

    I learnt alot last night being around two thought provoking, great minds , full of wonderful , sometimes harder then dark experiences , where the crack of light never shone through the soul but allowed it to complete it’s cycle .

    I am relieved light is shining through the experience as tangibly as you sit next to me , my dearest of friends , perfect to my eye , almost complete .

    Much much love
    and gratitude for touching on subjects most refuse to acknowledge exist , brave soul !


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