Look I really am no expert at life or others. But at 42 years 10 months 22 days 6 hours 34 min and 31/2/3/4/5/6 seconds life has happened in abundance.
Recently a series of circumstances happened that resulted in me having to move home urgently. So from a cottage in the back of someone’s home to the second floor in a gorgeous complex I find myself a little in awe. The direct relation is creepily magical to my reality.
For three years I lived at the back of a house. It related to my state of mind. I didn’t trust myself so having a fortress in front of me served as protection. I was ashamed that I had ‘failed’ myself, my faith, my family, my career and talents. Being at the back was where I felt I deserved to be.
Moving into my townhouse complex,(which I hope I will be able to buy oneday), represents a rising up. Looking down into beautiful established gardens I feel a bit like Juliet looking at her Romeo….lol. It is kind of like my little piece of heaven. OK for you argumentative types,like myself, let’s say Nirvana. I am more safe and surrounded by beauty in a home that reflects parts of my creativity. It is easy for me to clean and has a natural rythm that works for me.
When I moved in I was delighted that certain things like the drapes that I love fit perfectly. And we all know how often when moving house things are different sizes or don’t work in that space.
Anyhow it is humbling to know that as my perception changed from the back of the line to taking my place as a Big award winning stylist that my life changed for the better too.
It all seems too coincidental to be coincidence!
WHY? (I am glad you asked)
After picking up my Step work again, partly to not be lonely and partly because it was glaring at me, I realised that automatically but unconsciously I had been reworking my Step work through my blog.
Reading through my Step 7 I felt that Voice say to me,”Read Luke 7 1st.” I mean really Luke 7 and Step 7. God does have a sense of humour that tickles me pink….SeRiOuSlY.
So much in Luke 7 stands out that this week I will have to read and reread it.But today the story ‘The Sinful Woman Anoints Jesus’Feet’ vs 36 to 50 is the overwhelming link to my Step 7 preparation. (As a side note is it coincidence that my homemade Potpourri is wafting delightful fragrance up my nose?)
Taking a lesson from:…..
……”A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”
Luke 7:40-43 ESV
In stark similarity the same questions get asked in Step 7. What does humility mean? What is humility vs humiliation? How has my attitude change from being an over-inflated victim to acknowledging my human shortcomings? How is this teaching me compassion in the knowledge that I am doing my best; as all of us are?
In ‘Dragons and Butterflies’ Shani Krebs talks about spiritual awakening that transcends the boundaries of being stuck in Thai prisons. That even though circumstances may not change, the attitude we have regarding those circumstances can. In the movie ‘The Equaliser’ Denzel Washington’s character drops a line to a co-worker he is helping, “Progress not perfection.”
So as I allow myself to forgive myself for my mistakes and gearing up to make ‘amends’ (Step 8) I am overwhelmed that Grace does indeed abound.
So as the days draw closer to the startup of FRIEND SUPPORT GROUP, I am glad that whether succeed or fail I know that I am in line with my own healing.
Yes I have had to acknowledge my many faults, flawed thinking and expose myself publicly even in the face of harsh critics because nobody trusts people who don’t walk the talk.
So as I crawl on my belly in my Recovery looking forward to getting up on my knees, then my feet and then actually walking; I am grateful that in humility I can say that I need FRIEND.
Although FRIEND is a non-religious, non-specific & non-affiliated ideology it may be the kind of EVERYTHING that builds bridges of hope in a torn apart society. The ideology is a simple one: connect people to people in an unassuming, light-hearted and community based forum to break down the boundaries that keep us isolated. In Recovery it’s believed that isolation from others is where the REAL DANGER BEGINS.
Lately posts about ‘Together in our Separateness’ have been driving me nuts. It is not possible to be separate! In New Age teaching our Aura’s stretch as far as 3 rugby fields….so if this is true we are touching eachother even when our neighbour a block away is making love. If Christianity is true then GOD is in ALL of us. If Evolution is true then we all come from the same origins.
WE ALL LIVE ON THE SAME PLANET. So I fail to understand ‘separate but together’…..it sounds a trifle anti-semetic, anti-black, anti-white, anti-feminine, anti-masculine, anti-community, and quite frankly anti-life. In the book the ‘The Art of War’ the concept of ‘Divide and Conquer’ is deployed to weaken defenses and overcome an enemy.
The question is; if ‘Separate but Together’ is a philosophy….who is it beneficial for? If we are the only species of our kind on our planet does ‘Separate but Together’ not sound a little self-destructive? JUST SAYING!
SEE YOU AT ‘FRIEND’.
Stay your beautiful self. Stay Honest.