Dance

Today I learnt about payment systems for my new venture to rent-a-chair with aims to actively grow myself, under experienced guidance, towards being fully and in control of my time, money and business. I said goodbye and hello politely. I draughted, posted and got the ball rolling with an promotion to not only gain new  clients, but to try give cash strapped people the opportunity to have great hair for a good price. Yes I may be shooting myself in the foot a little, but I love what I do and would love more people to enjoy what and how I do my passion. Perhaps by giving a little I might gain a lot. It is a gamble I guess one has to take.

Flying from the salon to the ‘The Search E Host South Africa’ finale was  exciting. I got all dolled up. The E event took place it Taboo in Sandton. 

Katlego won. 

What really stunned me was his vulnerability. He told the story of how his mom sacrificed herself. She bought Kat a car but still caught the bus herself, so that he could chase his dreams. He did…he won and life is suddenly different for him.

In an instant the sacrifice became a glowing beacon of hope, love and victory. I watched with tears streaming down my face. Because my personal ‘Love  Language’ is acts of service;  the love of sacrifice to benefit others always wins me everytime.
I am a brat. But in a very nice way, most of the time. Sometimes I am downright just cruel. I guess though the great thing is that I am an open book. Some might find it hectic but many find it refreshing. But most agree that is provides some great entertainment and makes for delicious gossip. I try thank you.

Suddenly seems to be happening a lot in my immediate circle of life experience lately.

I danced and danced and danced and danced till my feet ached. I haven’t danced in a year. Actually the last time was at this event last year. I suddenly had an invite at the last moment. Part of me wanted to prove that us ‘umlungu’s’ can dance. Part of it was letting go & forgiving myself  put into action but mostly to celebrate over-coming the fear of ‘unworthiness’ a little more.(Dance has always lifted my soul and helped me to process) Watching the crowd enjoying me enjoying myself was thrilling. Obviously my ‘show-pony’ kicked in and I really entertained. But I loved it. It took sacrificing my fear of looking silly to get the freedom of feeling my body respond to the music. It was hard though because I am not 21 anymore and tougher still doing it sober. It was nice to be enjoyed by others and myself. 

So often I get caught up in myself that it is difficult to see where I am projecting my pain onto others and also giving myself lashings. But tonight this princess could get home way toooooooo late but with a glorious smile and a E goodie bag.

As I opened it suddenly my own world was turned right side up again in a most awesome way. I now have a new fragrance….that hits all the right notes for my personal preferences.

I guess the point really is that sometimes life pushes us in a direction to grow us and sometimes throws in some rewards to aid us along the way. Sometimes our little sacrifices become big rewards. Sometimes just telling our fears to ‘shut up’, we find a moment to let go. Sometimes it happens that a skilled DJ seems to play every right mix to heal yor soul. Sometimes we find a dance at the end of trials. Sometimes it is OK to take a leap of faith. Sometimes an ‘umlungu’ can capture the heart of an audience and inspire them to dance. Sometimes we just have to stuff it and dance on our own; no matter what. Sometimes some times change us for the better even if we don’t see it in the moment. Sometimes it is just a something small, like a hair treatment and fragrance that can let you know that God has your back.

Sometimes we just have to dance till the club closes and be glad that a perfect moment just happened quite by mistake.

Taking our place in the world most often means letting our big truths overshadow our loud but tiny fears.

Stay your beautiful self.
❤ 

•AJB•

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