To quote some modernist slang: “I am beyond”; “I am besides”; “I am finished”; “I am finelda”; “Ek is verby”.
I am finding it hard to write my little blog this morning as the tears flow not only from my eyes but my whole soul weeps. It feels like I am looking at the dead body of my mother all over again. Seriously! I feel like ‘floermoering’ and screaming in desperate sorrow. It’s times like these where profanity might be fabulous to use but I won’t.
WHAT THE FLIP JUST HAPPENED?
My social media has gone ablaze with retoric of the earthquake and SA hitting Junk status.
Really don’t worry about that minor tremble darnit. BE THE TREMBLE!!!
JUNK STATUS…..SERIOUSLY!!! A GROUP OF MEN ARE GOING TO BE ALLOWED TO SERVE US AMAZING SOUTH AFRICANS UP AS JUNK…..
I AM NOT JUNK…..ARE YOU?
Am I really going to let myself sit on the sidelines of this fight and do nothing. With information being loaded onto social-media on how to go about organising a protest….things will take some effort but it’s not major!!!!!
When I read articles by journalists that show SA to be nothing better than Zimbabwe or Nigeria where corruption, rogue gangs and absolute dictatorial leadership govern…..is that who we are?
I AM NOT!!!!
As the only open gay boy, in rehab, I had to force myself to beat my insecurities of not being man enough when it came to group sports. I remember an in-house cricket match amongst the guys. We each had to have a turn to bowl and bat. I seriously pooped myself as I had last played cricket in junior primary school.
The first few times this tournament was held I was not much help to the side. The bowling went wide….very. The batting less than desirable….usually a duck. But as my eye become more attuned, the more I practiced and the more I overcame fear I got a bit better. Now I won’t ever be a world acclaimed cricketer, but I don’t need to sit apathetic on the breeches hating my weakness to step up either.
I have started to enjoy the side of me that tries to push past my misconceptions, my inadequacies, my insecurities, my negative self-talk and underestimation of myself as a person.
WE AS SOUTH AFRICANS LIKE NEVER BEFORE NEED TO STOP AN ‘ ALREADY GONE TO FAR’ GREEDY, CORRUPT AND DISRESPECTFUL PEOPLE’ WHO ARE DESTROYING OUR BEAUTIFUL SA.
ARE YOU IN?
IF NOT FOR YOURSELF, OUR CHILDREN OR AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE HAIRDRESSER WHO WANTS TO COMPETE INTERNATIONALLY TO TEST HIMSELF……
IS IT SO HARD FOR A GUY TO JUST WANT TO LIVE A DREAM IN PURITY AND TRUTH FOR HIMSELF AND ALL?
Dear Father in heaven, we thank you that we have you and the light of your Spirit, which always gives us new determination for the tasks you ask of us. We thank you that we may live not just in the passing moment but also in eternity, looking with joyful hope to the future meant for us and for all humankind. Keep us in your Spirit, and open to us truth after truth. May we be part of that people who carry a light within them, a light which will show them the way through all the struggles and temptations of life; then each one of us will know day by day that you can help us and everyone on earth to a better life through your Holy Spirit. Amen.
STAY YOUR AMAZING SELF!
• AJB •