IF ONLY

And had the courage 

Of the A-Team
Maybe then you’d be with me

But for now I’ll have to dream
About your smile ’cause you’re not
Here and all I want to say is
That I really miss you….” lyrics from Goldfinger, If Only.

Isn’t it funny how we as peeps, so easily, get up in arms about the most ridiculous things; sometimes? 

I know I do…..lol.

HAVEN’T YOU EVER SAID THOSE FAMOUS FEW WORDS:”IF ONLY?”

 If only, you bent to my will? If, only you did it my way? If, only you would just……?

 I THINK ‘IF ONLY’ HAVE TO BE THE 2 WORDS THAT MOST EXPRESS THE SENTIMENT OF GENERATIONS OF POWER STRUGGLES MASKED BEHIND SUEDO DISAPPOINTMENT.

In Healing Wings Rehabilitation Centre I overheard an intriguing conversation oneday. Rather, the tail-end of it, actually. Nevertheless the idea has since stuck and struck a chord with me on numerous occasions.  “…….When people say, look at how badly they are doing; they usually are trying to make themselves look good by indirectly saying how themselves are doing so great,” is the astute council that was imparted from councillor to patient.

Yesterday a rather child-like debate ensued on Facebook about Buchan, his homophobia, us gays and the BIG prayer meeting for SA held in Bloemfontein. Besides it being rather entertaining, it struck me how each point of view was steeped in judgement and self-entitlement. Pretty much, I guess, like the VERY REASON protest marches and prayer groups are being held in SA in the first place.

So often I fall into the trap of self-glorification myself.

Self-glorification smacks of another sound piece of advice which cuts deep like a surgeon’s scalpel: SELF-PRAISE IS NO RECOMMENDATION AT ALL!

It is a tough bitter pill to swallow especially when one has achieved certain goals, honestly and fairly. I mean; how does one raise the accolade without the arrogance?

We see it everywhere. …this business fundy running a business development skills course or that one running a this; most of which none of us have ever even heard of.

With my Jodi Deerling coat snuggly wrapped around me, coffee and a heart mildly broken from the cold distance of a person I really care for, I have gotten to thinking about things.

  • WHY DO I NEED TO BE AFFIRMED?
  • WHAT IF MY DISAPPOINTMENTS IN LIFE ARE MERELY A COVER-UP FOR ME NOT WANTING TO ADMIT MY INABILITY TO CONTROL ANOTHER?
  • HOW BETTER COULD I NAVIGATE MY OWN REACTIONS TO SCENARIOS THAT DON’T GO ACCORDING TO MY PLAN?

The thing that seems to be the most accurate thought is this:”In my life when I fully, as best as one can, stand in truth we quickly realise that we are just as good, bad and ugly as the next person.” I am not talking physical looks! I am talking about our spiritual state of being. 

But within that raw realisation is a beautiful and unavoidable truth…..WE ARE ALSO EACH UNIQUELY MAGNIFICENT TOO. 

It is when our ‘affected’ lives parade in front of our authenticity that things go horribly OFF.

Another sound but hard to digest thought has been this: Every person given the right set of circumstances, motivations, and utilities is capable of doing anything…from war-monger to love creator.


I DON’T LIKE TO THINK ABOUT CERTAIN PARTS ABOUT HUMAN NATURE BUT ADMITTEDLY IF I WAS UNDER THREAT AND I COULD DEFEND MYSELF, I’D TRY. WOULDN’T YOU?


SO AS WE GEAR UP FOR ANOTHER WEEK, WITH ANOTHER MARCH ON THURSDAY, LET’S ALL TRY REMEMBER WHAT GOT US INTO THIS HOT MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE….

Every heart, every life, every joy, every person is as equally important as the SMILE of the one next to you. Our skin, histories, religions, politics, and cultures DO NOT make 1 HUMAN more important than another. 

Isn’t it funny how we all are joking that lately the care we are experiencing for eachother in SA is what we all want for eachother?

Such a perfect crises!!!

In fact; when we think that we can steal, kill and destroy without consequences is the very moment we run into and up against a POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES. 

( & that you can take to the bank….not because I self-praise and glorify myself but because gravity exists whether we believe it or not )

Dad

Help each of us search our own flawed hearts first before we judge another. Help us be a caring but just people that puts hate aside. Help us to change the dynamic in our country by upholding love for our neighbour equally. Prick the conscience of our leaders who seek to enrich themselves above another. Help us be the love you made us to be.

Amen

STAY YOUR AMAZING SELF!

❤ 

• AJB • 

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