A MOST VIOLENT MAN

dinner is on the cook. leftovers with a creative whim should turn out quite fabulous. sliced smoked chicken, honeyed Kassler chops, sundries and fresh tomato, yellow pepper, red onion, fresh cream, a dash of pinotage, garlic, olives, and a truffle sauce sprinkled with a peppered cream cheese to wildly but seductively swathe gluten free fusilli.

After a bath in aromatic salts, oils, bubbles and flowers; soft meditative  music brings a violent week to its necessary closure.

Talking to myself I had to coach myself that it is OK to seduce myself with great homemade food and soothing kindness.

WHY IS IT SO EASY TO HATE OURSELVES VIOLENTLY BUT NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE OURSELVES VIOLENTLY?

candles glow. tired feet and weary soul wait patiently to feed itself glorious nutrition.

 It’s been a mere few days since the last onslaught of harassment was over. Requests for sex, parties and general mayhem krep my phome buzzing. Gosh it’s exhausting trying to find reprieve.

YIP DINNER IS A SURE FIRE WINNING RECIPE FOR MAX IMPRESSIONISM.

(glad I blogged it….for remembrance)

Neatly tucked away with a bit of a ‘sleep assist’ pill down the hatch I settle into wondering: “HOW WILL A THERAPIST ACTUALLY HELP TURN MY SELF SADO VIOLENCE INTO A MORE LOVING SELF PRESERVING BEHAVIOUR?” can they?

sometimes a boy just needs a bit of rest before the next set of ‘bee-in-the-bonnet’ and ‘ants-in-his-pants’ curiosity takes hold of a restless heart. Will it ever be a smooth ride, even for a while? LOL!!!!

Chatting to a few truly awesome girls today I was gently reminded that EACH OF US HAS THE POWER TO CREATE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE.

things may not be want we want…..but hey we still are ourselves.

So violently take stock over a cuppa…..have that homemade dish…..run that glorious bath. 

We are not the sum of our possessions or our experiences or the choices we make…..we are who we want to be….. I want to be a kind, funny, naughty and interesting human.

And like leftovers can make a fab new meal….the leftovers of crises can reveal fab new areas to pay attention to in ourselves!!!

And write a love letter to yourself.

              MINE IS SIMPLE!!!!

•AJB• U AMAZE ME…..LOL.

STAY YOUR AMAZING SELF! 

❤ 

• AJB •  

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