The path to authenticity is truthfully love what you love.
With flailing arms in my living room, alone, it dropped. The sweat percolating the toxins out of my pores. An hour in, it dawned on me that I had been dancing in my 'sweet spot' both organically and for a while. My 'sweet spot' is that moment where every muscle moves willingly without thought to the music. I don't know about other people who love to dance but that moment when everything just flows is indescribable….and yes for those that have seen me dance will know it is something electrifying to watch. No, I am not a pro and I don't even have a particular categorised style…I just have a raw natural fluidity which is sexy….if I say so myself…..lol.
(Note to self….I must get Bluetooth earphones that sit snugly in the ear….there is nothing more disruptive as when in mid motion my hand rips the sound right out of my ear.)
But the point is not my self praise but the acknowledgement of self.
As I was enjoying the moment of feeling every muscle respond to the music blaring into my eardrums I heard that guttural voice teach me a few things.
1*Truth can only set us free, give life and grow us. It does not mean that it is easy or even nice but the outcome will always remain personal development.
2* Spirituality by its sheer nature is the loneliest road one can take. There is but not one other person that can fix us, live our purpose or travel our journey but us. Yes we can share our lives and be taught and guided but we still have to live it ourselves.
3*Lying to ourselves creates a prison in which we die a torturous death to ourselves. Remember that lie. The guilt, shame and paranoia of being found out was hell. That's the prison. The not being able to look others in the eye or pretending to be ok; that's the death of authenticity.
TAKE IT FROM A GUY WHO HAS MADE MISTAKES.
THE ONLY REASON THAT PEOPLE FORGIVE MY HUMANITY IS THAT NO MATTER WHAT IN THE END I ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH. I MAY NOT CHANGE EFFECTIVELY TO GAIN THEIR TRUST BACK. BUT THE ONE THING THAT I CAN ALWAYS DO IS LOOK OTHERS IN THE EYE EVEN WHEN I HAVE MESSED UP BECAUSE I TELL THE TRUTH.
The point is this that as I was dancing I realised that for me to grow in the direction that is exclusively •AJB•'s PURPOSE is to do the things I love.
I love dancing. It does something to me that nothing else does. I also know that I have learnt as much as I can at this juncture in my life and the actioning of my spirituality is necessary. It is a relief as in my living room, alone and sober, I can dance as I wish, cry as I wish, enjoy as I wish, do as I wish.
It is in this 'sweet spot' that I feel the bits of me that are myself and connected to the world and God melt fluidly into eachother.
So in recognition of myself I put this pic into my blog. Can you see the inner peace and self-love ooze out of my pores. That's what dance does to me. And the best thing is I never taught myself, or bought it, or manipulated it, it costs me nothing, it takes no effort to want to do, and it's a gift/ talent that is exclusively my very own unique way of acknowledging that I count. With dance I can choose to invite God into my living room to both dance in and with me. With dance I can celebrate the fact that each of us is 'fearlessly and wonderfully made.'
STAY YOUR AMAZING SELF!
• AJB •