It’s ‘199whatever’. Durban. 8am. Panic skips Bambi right out of my heart. I can’t believe it. SERIOUSLY!
330, a club in Durbs, an institution, had just celebrated there umpteenth b-day! The theme was RIIIIIIGHT up my alley; ‘Black leather & underwear’. Having a fetish for fishnet,huuuuuny, I went to town. God alone knows where I found my little number but it was barely an outfit. I WAS THE QUEEN OF POINT ROAD and let’s just say I looked like it too. FISHNET HOTPANT BODYSUIT!!!! With just a tiny patch to hide the boys away. I luuuuuuuuved it. Well at night anyhow! I had painstakingly shaved every hair off my body. I mean fishnet is not so hot on hairy anything…right. With tan in a bottle and bronze glittered body lotion, extensions in my fringe and more makeup than RuPaul I made my entrance into that incredible club. The girls hated my legs, the boys too scared to admit I was more appealing than I should’ve been and the gay boys loved the spectacle.
Being an extremist by nature i never do things in small measures…..lol. I wish I had a pic to share but I will share another. Although this pic was taken years later at Melrose Arch in Johannesburg the extremist nature is visible. (Pic is of a dress up thingy my sister was too afraid to go to on her own…..yes I was the goto playmate….looked like it too….😂😂😂)
BEFORE YOU RELIGIOUS OR JUDGEMENTAL TYPES GET ONTO THAT ONE LEGGED HIGH HORSE, LET ME CLARIFY. I don’t fancy girls clothing, as a daily thing, it’s too complicated! Yes I am happy being a boy! I love a laugh and if I am going to dress up, the fun lies in pushing the boundaries as faaaaar as I can. Personally, I don’t care what’s on the outside of humans….. what is important is the quality of a heart!
Durban, 8am and 330 was closing up! Flip crap darnit sherbet what now? My only choice was to take my 👠, 👯♂️ hotpant and myself into the screaming sunlight and 🚶🏻the 5kms to the closet bus stop. Yes my lift had found a something to nibble on and left me stranded; without a 👕 and no 🕶 to hide behind.
S E R I O U S L Y!
THE EARLY MORNING FISHERMAN CAUGHT SOMETHING THAT MORNING ALRIGHT….lol! The offers flowed like having ciggies in jail; ‘hard en aanhoudend’…lol.
By the time I had reached my stop in Musgrave road right outside flipping MUSGRAVE centre (think Sandton or Hyde Park) it dawned on me that I had to stride down the center of a packed bus with little old ladies in Sunday 👒 off to church.
Butt cheeks and fishnets! I am sure every kind of demon exorcism had been performed before I hit row 5…lol.
Crossing the road someone hooted and looking back every person including driver was glued in absolute shock and horror to the 🚌 windows staring at me ‘werking’ it across that pedestrian Zebra crossing.
For months I got the, ” Weren’t you the …..?”
“Yes I was, and still am the one and only!”
I have told this story many times and it always helps me to remember that if I can survive being next to naked on a 🚍, life is not always such a monster….lol!
STAY YOUR AMAZING SELF! 👑💋