Yesterday! Tough doesn’t begin to describe it. Although, when contexts are measured, it was low on the Richter scale. Besides my knee absolutely killing me , and having been awake since 1:30am, the day was jam packed. I am NOT complaining. NOT AT ALL! I needed a truly fabulous day of business to reaffirm my bruised spirit after my relapse however long ago.
What made it tough was that I was exhausted, in agony and needing to be my deLIGHTful self. Let’s just say that it was a test of wits. Everything in me wanted to crumble into my safe space. Amazingly, I had one of my nicest Saturdays in a long time. Needless to say, I crashed like a demolition site as soon as the ritual peanut butter toast had passed my thankful lips.
In my bedroom I have a hook that all my brick-a-brack costume jewelry hangs off. The lamp dances off the diamanté, skipping my imagination through Aladdin’s lamp. Yes, I am a bling freak. When my suedo personalities get a chance to dress up it is usually SPECTACULAR.
The contextual relevance is so startling to today’s blog that it is almost creepy.
Reading John 12, as I was prompted this freeeeeezing morning, hobbling around like Hook searching for the treasure, some light was shed. John 12, highlights the emphasis of being the light vs suedo light. It also talks about following the purpose of ones life. Each of us has our own unique ‘special place.’
I think that I am a candle. The reason I say this is that no matter my mood I affect others around me in a definite way. And God forbid that I am having a quiet moment, I get the, “Are you ok?”, question for as long as the mood lasts. It drives me nuts…..lol. Truthfully, I like being a bit of a ‘light-warrior’. I have become so accustomed to being the class-clown that I struggle when I am not on top form. The flip side is that others find me toooooooo much sometimes. But almost everyone misses me when I am not around….lol. FACT! (gosh this sounds so arrogant, but it isn’t. It is what it is…🤣🤣🤣🤣😜)
Tough stuff happens. It isn’t nice! It isn’t fun! And it certainly destroys my mojo. BIG TIME! Does it yours too? Instinctively, I know that the above quote is accurate. Like my painting titled: ‘Rebirth’ is not a smooth, airy fairy, let’s clap our hands depiction of the wonder of birth; life is the same. Breaking through is taxing. Doubts roam rampant!
This work depicts the murky waters of the false-self that absorbs our light. The tumultuous rise out of it. The doubts we face when we finally see the light. It also reflects the inner part of ourselves that constantly encourages us to push past our perceived limitations.
LIFE IS NOT EASY!
But, I am finding it far more interesting, sober, when I walk in authentic honesty.
As an example…. I always find it a shame when people who have put on their fake church smiles and ‘ I-am-praying-for-you’ goodie two-shoes act, but the second they are driving out of the grounds….cut people off, are rude to parking assistance, and sometimes throw some interesting hand signals.
It is this fake version of Gods love that puts non-believers off; rightly so. The same goes for politicians who line their own pockets, business executives who turn labourers into slaves on the minimum wage, elitists talking down to those below them, and any form of ego driven judgement.
And,unbridled ego often seduces us back to the trappings of falsities. A more prevalent example is not easily found than the South African political greed. The absolute shamefulness of our apartheid mentality.
WHAT I MEAN IS THIS….
WHETHER WE ARE TIGHT-FISTED, ELITIST WHITES TREATING OTHER RACE GROUPS POORLY, BLACKS FAVOURING BEE, INDIANS BEING NEPOTISTIC OR COLOUREDS USING POLITICAL MANIPULATION FOR SELF GAIN, WE SIMPLY ARE REPEATING HISTORY. AS A MATTER OF FACT, ANY CLASSIFICATION THAT HOLDS ITSELF BETTER THAN ANOTHER,IS TOO. OUR BLOOD BLEEDS RED, ROYALTY OR NOT, CHOSEN OR STILL TO BE FOUND. AFTERAL LOVE IS INCLUSIVE AND NOT FOR A SUPPOSED FAVOURED FEW!
Besides my knee needing to heal so that I can walk properly, my constant battle to walk in victory from a past of self-loathing needs to be taken in check everyday. So too does ZA. As is the globe!
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU; OBVIOUSLY! BUT I THINK THAT I WOULD LIKE TO LAVISH MY HIGHER POWER, FRIENDS, COUNTRY AND PLANET WITH EXPENSIVE PERFUME. BE ABLE TO WALK HARMONIOUSLY WITH MY CANDLE LIGHTING A PATH OF AUTHENTIC AND MUTUAL, LOVING RESPECT FOR ALL; EQUALLY.
BURN, BABY BURN!
Stay your amazing self!