Withstanding

The above pic of Iceberg Roses really cuts the right mood for this Sunday. In Sandown, Johannesburg, South Africa the overcast weather is moody but comforting. The following Mixcloud mix lends a charming yet ethereal quality to the morning.

Click ⬇️

DREAMS IN BLUE

Nibbling on Tiramisu for breakfast, whilst my guest snuggles into the duvet, I occupy my heart with reflections of the timely gifts that are coming to me. For so long, trying to keep my head above water, surviving the calamity’s of my past, has been tough. As many who have messed up a bit will say, it is hard to self-motivate in the face of harsh and often exaggerated criticism. Worse yet are the suedo-friendships, that stab the dagger in just a little deeper. Thankfully at a time like this I can truly say that I am surrounded by a life that is enviable. Enviable because authenticity flows organically and love is deep and intimate. Even my new chapter of a new potential relationship is riddled with connection and care. It is a little scary being in this uncharted waters. It is uncharted for me. Most of my past lovers the connection seemed to stop at a level. This time I am finding myself at depths that leave me breathless and frightened. I don’t know a life without angst. Years gone by my heart fought so hard against itself. I craved this depth but settled for whatever I could get. I guess it is the expected outcome from a heart smashed against rocks by reckless people. Still, i would rather be the hurt guy than being a carbon copy of so many people who invest energy into vandalizing the hearts of others; carelessly. Being in a moment, and I hope with all sincerity that is travels a long distance. The analyst in me is intrigued to discover the difference of mindset due to the fact that his and my life is vastly different. I am ecstatic to learn about this person, who has a depth of live that is startling to be part of. Aaaaaaargh, patience will have to be deployed to draw out the essence of this man’s heart so that it can live its fullness. Reigning from a part of the world where one “sin” is held up over as worse than the “adulterers” who judge it so has taken a toll to this sensitive masculine heart.

It has taken 15 years of working on myself to get to a point of accepting myself as myself. It will take the rest of my life to explore that person I almost destroyed because of the inadequacy of a world I find myself in. We all do! And for what? That another cruel task-master might have a notch on their belt that says they murder humanity.

Our violent unwillingness to judge ourselves and others with a loving mindset destroys the fiber that holds us together…..humanity!

I cannot understand why we hate eachother so much. As the tears pour out of me, unstoppable, I wonder how many people are crying out of terror and pain in the world right now. I feel my energy being shared to the angst of a world. I pray that love heals, realizes dreams, breaks hate, raises lives, smiles onto tears, and upholds care for all equally.

How lucky I am to have a different moment where the depths of the love I have always felt is being carried deeper.

I find my spirit dancing on the history that turned me into a kind, generous, loving, human.

I was fortunate to catch the majesty of this double rainbow, yesterday in Hyde Park, Johannesburg, South Africa. In my 43 years of my humble life, I have never seen each colour of the rainbow so visibly. I wish you could’ve seen it. Each colour cut an exact line of its glory alongside each other glory.

CAN WE JUST NOT LET US HUMANS BE THE SAME….YOUR GLORY, MY GLORY, OUR GLORY?

In ‘Conversations in a Cab 23’, the driver, had some interesting and thought provoking insights into the World Dom his perspective. To listen to it Click ⬇️.

CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 23

As I nibble on breakfast, enjoying a moment, feeling the joy, accepting my blessings, counting my gratitude, thanking my HIGHER POWER and thinking of the world at large, I hope that peace carries you through every moment of this day.

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

•AJB•

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One thought on “Withstanding

  1. Well , let it be ..,

    It is said that when one has had a hard life at the onset , life becomes better in the after ,
    You go Ar , just go , trusting yourself know !

    Lots love and to a blessed Sunday ,
    Your friend
    Ella

    Liked by 1 person

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