Willful

There is something about these Strelitzia’s. The unashamed boastful display of colour, powerful stems, dramatic shape and the pomp of its sky pointed head shout authentic purpose. I cut these from the garden yesterday. With guests coming over for dinner, as one does, my humble home needed to be ‘facing the sky.’ Dinner was a massive success with doggie bags on hand, I had achieved the impression necessary. More than that I had touched another heart, respectfully and with my kind of love. I love making others feel validated and cherished. Been like that since a kid.

With Higher Power guidance this morning I read JOHN 14. Appropriately placed after intense prayers for growth, the answer of not to worry was a welcome relief to my disturbed heart. I guess that the violence of a stranger tweeting me, yesterday has peeved me off. If there is one thing I cannot handle, is false accusations and embroiled character assassination. Once again a frustrated human chose to exercise their misdiagnosed racist commentary of me. This based solely on the colour of my skin.

The irony of it all is that it is on a colonial developed communication method that he chose to have a go at me. Darling, next time be authentic and darn well use smoke signals if you hate the things Europe has brought to Africa…and please take off that western fashion and stop using colonial lavatories. Get a flipping grip… not all people act like assholes like you just have. Needless to say what has disturbed me the most, is the fact that I actually care, when I shouldn’t.

On Sunday, a Makeup Artist friend and I were chatting about business in general. I offered to run an online survey, both for her information and myself. Well, actually for anyone that might be needing information; especially in the ‘luxury’ industries. I had some interesting feedback, mostly pvt.

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ONLINE CONSUMER SURVEY

ERIK OF BETTERMAN

says:

How to not be a puppet…

Imagine for a second thousands of strings shooting out of your body and connecting you to the world.

They connect you to people and to experiences.

Every time something happens or someone says some thing, a string gets jerked, and with it, you.

Is that really how you want to live your life??

As a marionette controlled by the world at large??

Cut the strings.

Your mood, your actions, your thoughts should not be at the mercy of the tug of a string.

Acta non verba,

Erik

Founder of BetterMan

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” Nido Qubein

Another way perspective is this….

So as I take myself on hand acknowledging my own inner ‘good guy’ and putting my faith in my Higher Power, forgetting my accuser, I hope that this Mixcloud mix injects some love into your day and gets us boxing the box.

Click ⬇️

HAPPY HOUSE

Choose ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

AJB•

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EXPLICABLE

I AFRICA!

I won the Twincare South African Hairstylist of the Year 2017 almost a year ago. I chose to take that title and champion it to a cause I wholeheartedly believe in. My country, my people, my beliefs. I am Africa!

Although my history and living experiences are vastly different to the majority of people of ZA in my age group, their plight has suffered much in my heart. I cannot tell you why I am like this, I have always been for as long as I can remember. I was asked yesterday, clients, after publicly declaring my multi-racial relationship if I had been judged. The answer is an obvious one, but also the applause has been warming. For years as an artist I have known that one needs contrasts of light to depict a subject in it’s best form. It is advice I dispense to my clients when choreographing Hair & Makeup to a wardrobe for an event. As an example, if one is going with a classic outfit one might break the simplicity of it by having bedhead hair teamed up with beach-babe glow makeup. Or nude tone outfits teamed up with slick hair and sultry makeup…..contrasts. Anyhow, the point is that the cards have been on the table my whole life that I would end up finding the contrast to my own skin deeply interesting and appealing. Goodness knows that I spend fortunes on getting my skin to a sun kissed glow….the Africa kiss….lol. It just so happens that I have landed myself into a relationship of contrasts. His espresso skin that light dances off, delights my eyes to watch. I have tried a few times to take a pic of how the light dances on his skin. My amateur photography hasn’t cracked it yet. The visual of my blotchy pink skin against the glory of his is spell-bounding for the artist in me. It makes me feel rather insignificant, to tell you the truth. I count myself fortunate to watch the sun dancing off of his flawless skin. And moi, it’s spray tan with glitter sprinkles etc etc to even get a glimpse of anything dancing on my skin. Life can be so cruel!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Amandla nguwethu

(Power to the People)

I am bursting with the ‘toy-toy’ in my veins today. After a bad nights sleep on Friday night I didn’t pay much attention to the announcement of the Courts decision to, finally, hear the charges against Jacob Zuma for his theft of the South African people’s lives. I certainly hope that some levels of self-respect are left in the legal fraternity and the Oath they swear by to uphold the ends of justice. If not, shame on you. I certainly hope that in the face of the people of ZA, not one legal mind will spit on us by defending these criminals to a country’s hope, pride, dignity and survival. There comes a time in a man’s life where he must face the music, if he is to be called a man at all!And a time to take a stand and disassociate with people of such.So today as I scan through the tweets, news and information regarding Zuma/ESKOM/Gupta/ANC I hope that my little voice will ripple through this gorgeous nation. This nation that when it shines it reflects a hope unlike the world has known. We are Africa, and we have endured, fought and held on. We are Africa and you just cannot keep forgetting us. We are proud of our honesty and we are proud of love, even when you fail to love us as we have loved you. Don’t forget to sparkle our diamonds you wear in that crown daaaaaaarlin’; that is our love….big, bold and fabulous huuuuuuney! That leopard on your wall, let it remind you that we have bleed for your opulence. That fur you walk on that is is our dignity that cushions and raises your feet. We are Africa! Our love is Africa and you have yet to match it! Catch up….we grow strong!

This pic I took of these salad servers I bought at the Hyde Park Craft Market on Friday night are already serving. They serve to initiate the point of today’s blog. With the backdrop of Mixcloud, the mood in my heart is set on serving my dose of a love salad….like only I, arguably, can…😜!

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LIQUID LOUNGE

Dear Powers that Be

43 years, 6 months, 4 days, 5 hrs ago, today, I was born. I was born in Addington hospital, Durban, KwaZulu-Natal. Back then my dreams were shot to hell by a society that judged creative boys. Every opportunity missed because I didn’t fit the mould. When I finally fell in love, for the 1st time at 17, my life changed forever. I discovered the cause of the freedom fight. Even though 1 of the people who raped me as a child was of a different skin to me, I was strong enough to not judge the all by the one. I lent my life to the cause for which a hero arose in Nelson Mandela. I was more free to explore these people I cared for, whom I didn’t know. I did. As the years trickled by and my own dark places encroached and stifled my growth, still I dreamt of freedom for you and for myself. I was scared of not being accepted as my society had robbed me of that already so well. As I learnt to face my personal demons and struggles as I still do, the path back to lending my little life to a cause I had left behind has grown strong again. No longer can I find my own quiet peace amongst a people I love so much because the tears they cry keeps me up at night. Their tears haunt my dreams. Still the theft of their lives goes on. In Mozambique, in rehab, I confronted my own perceptions of privilege by acknowledging that I had had it easy, even though in my society I was frowned upon….I was poor, not hip, and certainly not from the right stock. They were wrong. I am from the stock that taught me to love all people no matter who they were. She read those stories and showed me movies on how not to judge by filters that colour the world so wrong. He taught me to survive. I did even from his own torturous hands. I am from that stock where Africa runs free. The stock that learns to forgive, even when wronged. And we rise early to show our dignity even if your hate is still so long. Now the time has come that the children of this land no longer will stand for the rape you did back then, and still. You are old and we are strong! You taught us to stand up for truth! We stand! Against you, then and still! We want our opportunities back. The freedom you took , then and still. Our dreams are more important that the fat you carry in your belly from our labours. Our dreams must be lived! Yours have gathered dust that eat the moth! You got it wrong, then and still.

❤️

An Angry Africa Child


Choose
you are old and frail. Our dreams are bigger than your lust.

#❤️🇿🇦🌈

✌🏽

•AJB•

ANECDOTE

STOP REPORTING MY BLOG ON FACEBOOK! IT IS SOOOOOOOO CHILDISH!

Click ⬇️

DJ STEVIE B

5:56 AM SANDOWN, JOHANNESBURG

It is controversial living in ZA to say the least. Everywhere glass buildings are springing up, yet reports of international investor interest is apparently in the negative. Another 51 Billion rand is squandered by the ANC/GUPTA’S/ZUMA. Grace Mugabe flees facing trial for assault, Zuma jnr flees to Dubai, increasingly people are losing their jobs, the Western World argues Trump, Brexit, Putin and we continue to kill eachother physically and emotionally. Even this little blog has been reported and blocked by Facebook. I mean doll can you actually belieeeeeeeeve it. Me a hairdresser that endeavors to lend his voice to love.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY!

The first few times it happened, I thought I was doing something wrong. I am not the most tech savvy guy. When things go wrong I am like, “ Haibo, marrawe, now what, bliksem.” Eventually I understood that a somebody other laid a complaint. Now considering that that I have been respectful in my approach on spiritual matters, never display overtly sexual content, refrain from using foul language, mostly, and don’t incite violence or hate; phenomena is perhaps the word as to why someone might report my blog. The only 2 conclusions I can draw are hairdressing counterparts who are trying to stop me from marketing myself through this medium or political people who hate hearing the truth. Huuuuuuuney, sweetie, daaaaarlin’ bookie, angel, luuuuvie whoever you are grow the $&#! up.

Dear SABC, SAA, ANC< strong>COULD YOU PLEASE JUST ADMIT YOUR FAULTS. Give up and give that guy a chance. I promise you that pride only drags one to do things that make matters worse. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and certainly washed the floor with said shirt. The crises is not in raising the flag of surrender, it is the continuation of making fools of yourselves by sucking the marrow out of the bone in a country fraying. Your legacy of freedom has and is blood. The emotional blood of those that died for it that you squandered. Throughout history leaders rise and fell. Each had its season. If there is any conscience in you, any love for this country put pride aside and give another the chance to raise the Phoenix out of the ashes that you so eloquently burnt to cinders.

From the mouths of your people…. “Eish, not again!”

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CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 25

Yes, we all aspire to great wealth, fame, success and influence. The difference is how we get there. Will we be remembered as doing so in a manner that frees others to do the same, or that keeps them captive as slaves to our protocol?

I made this little video, both to market myself as a stylist but also hope that it inspires in you creativity. Creativity enough to think out of the confines of an overcrowded box that suffocated ourselves at large. We all need a bit of fresh air! Don’t be afraid to get some by booking your SLIPTOVER and save a penny too.

Click ⬇️

SLIPTOVER VOUCHER

Choose ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

AJB•

Vanities Fare

PEOPLE ARE CHOOSING TO CHANGE THEIR GENDER, SKIN COLOUR, SEXUAL IDENTITY CLASSIFICATION, AND EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE WAY OF EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I OFTEN WONDER IF THE PRICE WE PAY FOR VANITY IS SEPARATING US FROM AUTHENTICITY. THE DEFINITIONS OF VANITY, ABOVE, BEGS A RATHER THOUGHTFUL REFLECTION. I FOR ONE AGREE WITH FREE CHOICE AND EACH OF US MUST LIVE WITH THOSE CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES. LESS TOLERABLE IS IF VANITIES FARE COMES AT THE PRICE OF ANOTHER LIFE?

RIGHT?!?!?

Sandown, Johannesburg, ZA, 5:48am

In ‘Conversations in a Cab 24’ the Driver and I, besides being caught in crazy hailstorm downpours, had me in tears as he offered to protect me doing a money transfer in a mall in Alexander. Alexander is an emerging suburb that in formative years was an informal settlement. Obviously, predominantly African due to the disgraceful Apartheid era that treated humans with contempt. I was completely blown away by this complete strangers kindness and care towards me. Especially if one considers that the colour of my skin, is organically associated with the oppressive actions of Verwoerd and the men who shamed an entire country.

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CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 24

Laughingly, this blog is taking a couple of days to manifest out of me. I say laughingly as I am not one of those people that can sit with difficult things for long periods of time. I am impulsive and emotional. The upside is that I am authentic and not calculating. And as far as I am concerned I have had more than my fair share of game players, liars and manipulative predators. I like being real and I certainly love real others. I am sick to death of all the suede-science of agenda masking, psychological warfare of the world at large. As a prime example, if we know that people tend to drive recklessly why do we bother making super fast cars available to the consumer? Isn’t it then logical that if we cannot obey the speed limits that we take away the means to do so. It is much like the ‘guns or not guns’ argument in the USA. Why on earth are alarm bells not being rung globally on a human having 47 guns. Surely, again logically speaking, each household should be allowed 1 gun that can be deployed should an intruder threaten the lives of a family. I mean really doll. 47 guns should be a screaming warning that something is awry. Right?!?!?!?

I relate all of this to myself.

I have learnt that my personal preferences cannot be made the duty of another human to fulfill. That remains my exclusive responsibility!

As an example:

I love the slightly burnt parts on cookies. I can’t buy them in shops. But I can’t expect shops to cater for my occasional craving of Mom’s cookie recipe that sometimes got a little browner than others. The ones I loved best. Why I like slightly charred cookies, God alone knows, I just do. I have searched far and wide for my Mommy’s cookie recipe, which were fabulous, but to no avail. But it will be discovered and treasured. I am simple guy like that. It is the pure goodness of things that speak to me loudest. These days things are so over done, over sold, over dressed, over everything.

KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID, is still a mantra I believe in.

Like my friends know, I am always hunting recipes where fruit is a sweet element to savoury. This is my simple approach to food….simple, interesting and as organic and natural as possible. These days even when I eat out I have to ask for my pasta and sauce separate as most places drown the flavor of pasta with overdone sauces. I like a smidgen of sauce so that I can get the full-bodied flavor of the pasta.

How does this rambling relate to vanities fare?

Simply this….. if my life infringes on the life of another negatively in any shape or form then I need to adjust myself to make allowances for equal rights for the other to thrive. This is called WE ALL WIN.

THE ARROGANCE OF OUR SOCIETY THAT HOLDS ITSELF AS BETTER OR GREATER THAN ANOTHER IS STARTLING TO SAY THE LEAST.

Without others, if we were the only homosapien left on the planet we would have no humanity. We would either run smack bang into our death by nature, death by self or we would value the life of other things around us.

THEN PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY IN GODS NAME ON A PLANET FILLED WITH FRIENDS LIKE OURSELVES CAN WE NOT SHOW THE RESPECT THAT EVERY OTHER DESERVES BY GETTING OVER OURSELVES AND START LOVING THE WORLD AT LARGE. IT IS A BEAUTIFUL WORLD, FILLED WITH BEAUTIFUL THINGS. BETTER STILL IT HAS BILLIONS OF OTHERS LIKE OURSELVES TO LOVE.

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BEAUTIFUL EARTH

OPEN OUR EYES, WE ARE STILL HATING AND KILLING EACHOTHER!!!

And for what….. vanity? To be most beautiful, most rich, most powerful, most popular. Well huuuuuuney the recent warnings of our beautiful planet may have just reminded us that we are nothing compared to Mother Nature. When we will we learn that our arrogant self-importance is all in our own minds and not the reality the universe operates in. LIKE WHEN?

Ask ourselves…..

IS THE FARE OF MY VANITIES WORTH THE PRICE OF A PLANET BEING DESTROYED BY US? IS THE FARE OF OUR VANITIES WORTH THE SINGLE LIFE OF OTHER LIVING THINGS? IS THE FARE OF OUR VANITIES WORTH ANYTHING AT ALL IF BLOOD IS SHED FOR IT?

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WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

AJB•

YOUR HIDDEN TREASURE

Slicing the chase; my personal history is comparable to peddled self-doubt.

What does this mean? From the super-spiritual to the interpretations of events, I was sold down the river. It is a long winded tale. Every kind of abuse, self-inflicted and by others has braised my life with crippling consequences. As a follow on from SWEET SUNDAY PERVE, I woke up this morning in my tranquil home, coffee in hand with a pressing question, “What is self-love?”

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SWEET SUNDAY PERVE

n an attempt to create the mood of this blog, as an experiential experiment, please play the following mix off Mixcloud to feel the depth of this blog. This 3 hr collection, truly expresses the journey of self-love. At times we float along, scratch a way forward, trip up and feel like giving up. From experience I have seen and still do that magic happens in each movement. The journey is an authentic one built on the simple fact that we are born to be kings and queens.

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DREAMS IN BLUE 003

(pic I took this AM of bits and pieces to talk about ‘HIDDEN TREASURES’)

I guess the right place to start is…..

You are not the sum of your life, job, money, beauty, body, mind and/or desires.

What I mean is that we are the version of ourselves that is prescribed in the etchings of love. It is in this that our organic preference is untainted. The easiest explanation is found in children. As a stylist I am often amazed by the ideas of my young clients. No matter the age, outspoken children have very definite ideas about their hair. The shy kids take some work to build trust but eventually also become vocal about their preferences. Often I wish parents would back off from being controlling and just observe these little ones express their ideas without judgement. So often parents create unnecessary insecurities by imposing their personal desires onto these little sponges. Some kids authentically love bedhead hair, others tidy, others wants punky colours and some want to fit in. When a friend fell pregnant I had the wonderful experience of watching her son in the first few years of his life. When he could walk my car keys, shoes and everything else ended up in the bin or loo.

I was amazed that he had observed our behaviours and duplicated them.

It remains a tragedy to me that I never had children of my own. By that I mean adopting. At 43 I have made peace with living vicariously through the lives of other parents.

This next story is a deeply disturbing one but a reality for me. The spiritual war on my life has been a distinctive one. Why? I wish that I knew. Please understand it takes a lot to share this weird story, but for context of this blog it is essential. Be kind in your judgement as many have dig the dagger of hate in deeply.

I cannot remember exactly the age I was, but an intelligent estimate, about 1. My mom was sleeping with me in her arms when something started to pull me out of her arms. Switching the light on, fighting this intruder, she realized that it was a spiritual entity. Nothing physical was visible. She often told how she had never been so frightened and prayed like she had never prayed before. Something tried to take the life ahead of me in the most disturbing and bizarre way. It has left a cautionary scar! A spiritual scar that has created a beast in me that must fight for the belief in truth and love. Today 42 years later, I have come to accept that spiritual is so a part of me that I cannot separate myself from it. It pours out of me in everything I do. Good or bad. It has taken mega heartache to get to a point of accepting myself as valid.

Valid like each and every person on this planet, gone, here now and still to come!

(This screenshot, ⬆️, a blog from Huffington post, authored by Elyse Santilli, titled: ‘8 Ways to Increase Your Self-love’)

After my last relationship ended, I took to healing myself through blogging. I went back to basics in every way. I went back to the therapy notes and lessons. I stopped the onslaught of the world by isolating myself from it. I decided that the most valid input would come from my Higher Power. I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t lose myself anymore trying for the approval from other humans. My innocence had been robbed through sexual abuse and my trust of the world broken by emotional and physical abuse from a cruel father. I spent so many years perpetuating that self-hatred through sexual promiscuity, addiction and people-pleasing because I didn’t feel valid. I seriously thought that the world was better off if I was dead. I was of no use, just trouble. And boy did I co-create some spectacular messes!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes, irritatingly, like still smoking I still self-harm. The process of getting myself back to a point of self-love is quicker. Miracles happen, daily around me now. I see it in the feedback I get from friends who love me so dearly that they spank me emotionally when I second guess myself. I see it in the tiny growth of my business that I started with R600 in my pocket, the connection I experience with my new relationship, my better use of responsibility, and the love I feel for others as I prompt them to be their authentic selves. Everyday, male, female, straight, not, religious, agnostic and hurt or healing makes a point of hugging or getting a dose of my antics that are crude but affirming it a non-judgemental way. Yip, I am that guy that deliberately deploys shock tactic to cut the wheat from the chaff. It’s naughty and in-your-face. I don’t really care. Time goes by so fast that trying to mollycoddle people to let go of silly restraints is not my idea of fun. My personal mantra: live laugh, be, explains me well.

After years of trying to get people to love me because I didn’t know how, isolation brought me into contact with a love that runs so deep. So deep in fact that I am well aware that I haven’t even begun to scratch below water level yet. But my heart pours out for #❤️🌍🌈, profoundly. We chase power, money, sex, status, validation whilst all the while sacrificing ourselves. We make ourselves slaves. Like myself, we all need a dose of organic and authentic self-love. I hope my little journey will inspire you to stop and discover the star substance in yourself.

SO WHAT HAVE I LEARNT ABOUT SELF-LOVE?

STEP OUT OF DENIAL:

Much like a kid in a toy shop, our eyes are seduced by the colours, shapes and excitement of new things. Separating ourselves from the stimulants that distract us from noticing ourselves is essential. In our private sanctuary, that safe space, we need to to put it out there that we are raising our white flags and acknowledge that our best shot at life yielded some results. We need to accept that perhaps there is more to this life than we think or know. I mean, logically speaking, if we had all the answers wouldn’t we be living perfect lives? Once we are in the toy shop again, rather than being seduced, we notice what we instinctively are drawn to. We ask ourselves, “Why do I like this? Is it drawing me to something else inside of me that needs healing? What is that healing needed and how do I find the answers?”

The answers do come. Sometimes it hurts because we are at fault, other times we gain victory from false perceptions. Each lessons inspires us to search more. The rainbow in us begins to unfold.

BEING GRATEFUL:

This is a tricky part! Being grateful is not just saying thank you for our lives. Grateful is also about allowing ourselves to be moved and changed for the better. It is about not beating others down to achieve our personal goals. It is more about becoming an equal citizen that allows ourselves and others to win through our respective talents. Gratitude is the actioning of the idea that each of us is on this planet and each of us should be granted the tools to thrive. Thriving and striving is the name of the game. We are born to be kings and queens.

GETTING BACK TO BASICS:

As we all know, when we move house we chuck a lot of stuff. We tend to gather things that collect dust in moth eaten boxes in the back-bottom if the attic or garage. From time to time we need to reassess ourselves and see if we have moved away from the process of giving ourselves time to discover our uniqueness and our gifts to be shared in the world.It happens so easily, distraction! One way that I recognize that I am moving towards falseness is if I find myself judging instead of trying to understand. I am not talking about calling out bad behaviours. But when I call it out in a manner that demeans others then chances are I am hurting myself too. When I hurt, my flawed humanity wants to lash out and make others feel my pain. It takes so much learning to adjust this but it is better than ever before. You? It is times of tripping up that we need to acknowledge our humanity, make amends and laugh at our fragility. We all do it so it doesn’t make us bad, just learning.

DAILY:

Every day we need to give ourselves a pat on the back for the good things we did. Why this is important is because our brokenness wants to point us to our failings. Eventually as we practice doing our goodness it becomes a natural flow in our daily lives. It is here however, where deploying wisdom is necessary. In our new state of goodwill we can easily become prey to people who are still captured by predatorial accents. This process of daily, taking stock and recognizing the distractions from our authenticity grows us into a hard and fast foundation of truth. It is in this sharpening of our iron that we begin to stand for goodness as we self-adjust our lives to look like the heart we find inside ourselves.

THE MAGIC:

This is where I am beginning to walk. Over the last few months, blessings have been poured out onto me. I am not talking about fee-rides. I am talking about the rewards of my discipline and choosing to become a connected part of a universal love. Life is still far from my dreams but each moment I am aware that my dreams are near. I cannot wait to have the budget to create an international ad campaign for SLIPT. I dream of creating an uninhibited, emotional art piece that declares war on the status quo. I dream of a global impact that gives greater license to freedom of expression that is outside of hate, anger and man-made restrictions. I dream of SLIPT being a beacon of hope to others to take the journey towards a life lived well for all.

Magic is where we raise others by being the person we are born to be!

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

AJB•

Withstanding

The above pic of Iceberg Roses really cuts the right mood for this Sunday. In Sandown, Johannesburg, South Africa the overcast weather is moody but comforting. The following Mixcloud mix lends a charming yet ethereal quality to the morning.

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DREAMS IN BLUE

Nibbling on Tiramisu for breakfast, whilst my guest snuggles into the duvet, I occupy my heart with reflections of the timely gifts that are coming to me. For so long, trying to keep my head above water, surviving the calamity’s of my past, has been tough. As many who have messed up a bit will say, it is hard to self-motivate in the face of harsh and often exaggerated criticism. Worse yet are the suedo-friendships, that stab the dagger in just a little deeper. Thankfully at a time like this I can truly say that I am surrounded by a life that is enviable. Enviable because authenticity flows organically and love is deep and intimate. Even my new chapter of a new potential relationship is riddled with connection and care. It is a little scary being in this uncharted waters. It is uncharted for me. Most of my past lovers the connection seemed to stop at a level. This time I am finding myself at depths that leave me breathless and frightened. I don’t know a life without angst. Years gone by my heart fought so hard against itself. I craved this depth but settled for whatever I could get. I guess it is the expected outcome from a heart smashed against rocks by reckless people. Still, i would rather be the hurt guy than being a carbon copy of so many people who invest energy into vandalizing the hearts of others; carelessly. Being in a moment, and I hope with all sincerity that is travels a long distance. The analyst in me is intrigued to discover the difference of mindset due to the fact that his and my life is vastly different. I am ecstatic to learn about this person, who has a depth of live that is startling to be part of. Aaaaaaargh, patience will have to be deployed to draw out the essence of this man’s heart so that it can live its fullness. Reigning from a part of the world where one “sin” is held up over as worse than the “adulterers” who judge it so has taken a toll to this sensitive masculine heart.

It has taken 15 years of working on myself to get to a point of accepting myself as myself. It will take the rest of my life to explore that person I almost destroyed because of the inadequacy of a world I find myself in. We all do! And for what? That another cruel task-master might have a notch on their belt that says they murder humanity.

Our violent unwillingness to judge ourselves and others with a loving mindset destroys the fiber that holds us together…..humanity!

I cannot understand why we hate eachother so much. As the tears pour out of me, unstoppable, I wonder how many people are crying out of terror and pain in the world right now. I feel my energy being shared to the angst of a world. I pray that love heals, realizes dreams, breaks hate, raises lives, smiles onto tears, and upholds care for all equally.

How lucky I am to have a different moment where the depths of the love I have always felt is being carried deeper.

I find my spirit dancing on the history that turned me into a kind, generous, loving, human.

I was fortunate to catch the majesty of this double rainbow, yesterday in Hyde Park, Johannesburg, South Africa. In my 43 years of my humble life, I have never seen each colour of the rainbow so visibly. I wish you could’ve seen it. Each colour cut an exact line of its glory alongside each other glory.

CAN WE JUST NOT LET US HUMANS BE THE SAME….YOUR GLORY, MY GLORY, OUR GLORY?

In ‘Conversations in a Cab 23’, the driver, had some interesting and thought provoking insights into the World Dom his perspective. To listen to it Click ⬇️.

CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 23

As I nibble on breakfast, enjoying a moment, feeling the joy, accepting my blessings, counting my gratitude, thanking my HIGHER POWER and thinking of the world at large, I hope that peace carries you through every moment of this day.

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

•AJB•

STRANGE FICTION

I kind of like this pic I took of this diamanté bracelet. It speaks of mystery, leaving me wishing that the night before was accompanied by decadent fabulosity. Dismaying not. Yesterday the world was aflutter with questions and encouragement to walk away from a lovely scenario but lacking enriching character. In a delightful turn of events, I got spellbound to a sensational looking man from Kinshasa. This, if it had yielded desirable results, would have been the great multi-cultural relationship I have yearned for. I have no idea why my preference is of a different skintone to me. It just is! It is strange. The connection is beyond words but the follow through…..uhm nah. It has also left caution in my being. Caution because to find an another who is a contributor, on all levels, that is mutual and reciprocal. But it is eina regardless. Mostly because I am not used to walking away from a love affair. By nature, I am a fighter and I do so until the I usually am the last man standing. Just for once I would love to know what it is like to have the full package deal that travels a distance longer than a Shakespearian death scene.

The world seems to be filled with boys in men’s bodies who have gone off there rocker. Hetrofluid, Trump, Zuma, Gupta, Las Vegas shooter, Isis, North Korea Hydrogen bomb, Putin, Mugabe, Gupta, Wife beaters, mafia syndicates, child sex slavery rising, bisexual or married men on gay dating sites, men who seem to think that general disrespectful life and anything other than the c_c_ is perfectly ok to ignore.

CAN THE REAL MEN PLEASE STAND UP

If we are supposed to be the head of the house can someone please tell me why the house is in ashes and a disgraceful embarrassment to me as a man. Now I know that this is a generalization but I can promise you that as a Hairstylist I here the running commentary that repeats a dreary pattern.

Although an argument can be put forward regarding preferences let’s put that on the back burner as being an experience in life that yields difficult judgement from the mainstream understanding at large.

I have done my fair share of wrongs that I have had to address and actively work on in myself. But when I see men above my status in life carrying on regardless I wonder what the hell is going on in this world. Strange fiction cannot be conjured up by all the going’s on.

In Conversations in a Cab 21 yesterday I dared to relate the story of being put into a situation where I had to foot the bill for a night out. Although we couldn’t delve into it as my trip ended it has opened the door regarding the perception of white ZA having money and the blindedness to the fact that BBBEE has in fact turned the tables in an ‘NEW ORDER APARTHEID’. I am anti-all inequality. But worse yet I am anti-free hand-outs. Not because it is necessary to do so in setting wrongs right but because it creates people who become dependent on a freebie. As a person that has had to claw themselves from an awful childhood and a destructive addiction, a free pass would have kept me feeling sorry for myself and avoiding taking responsibility for my choices.

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CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 21

I started running a colour discount promo last week that is proving to be grabbing attention of others. Below is a GLAMOVER that I did. I hope that my little video inspires you to express yourself in an authentic way.

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CHARLIE’S GLAMOVER: FREEHAND NAIL ARTIST EXTRAORDINAIRE

As a parting thought to the man in all of us, be we female or male I lend my thoughts to the man in me and ask:

AM I DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO LOVE OTHERS

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self

✌🏽

AJB•