Blessed

NOT LIKE THAT!

In my Conversations in a Cab 31 the topic of change came up and is the driver behind today’s blog.

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CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 31

It has taken its toll and the energy to lift myself up has been excruciatingly tough. A pitch fork digs deep into my psyche. Having to take on another’s debt to be honorable, relocating and starting my rent-a-chair from next-to-scratch again and dealing with a bust up heart might do that to one. For weeks my humble apartment resembled a pigsty and I didn’t really care. But get up and go I have. The insane thing is that I still love the human who betrayed and near devastated me. But my small saga is none compared to Zim. Wow! Talk about the tides of change. Never mind the disappointment of the announcement of France getting 2023. Rightly so. Why would any foreigner want to chance their luck on a greedy ANC led state capture mafia government? I had to stop reading Jacque Pauw’s book for a while as it was beyond hectic. One cannot read this brilliantly documented historical book without being overwhelmed by the levels of human inconsideration and greed. But all of this blah blah blah is not the nah-nanana-nah of today’s blog. These are mere reactions to poor actions and in the end should not define our outlooks in lives. Stuff happens and so it must so that the bullshit can walk.

Monday I got stuck into being Dora the domestic Goddess again and whipped my undesirable into livable. I find it weirdly awesome that this week is turning into a better financial week too. I think it comes back to the basic principle of acting in gratitude yields positive results in our lives. Yes, it does mean eating humble pie and laughing at the rhythms our lives take. Sometimes it is our choices that spin our wheels and sometimes it is those of others. The point is that when we do find ourselves back to basics it gives us ample to reflect on.

The new DJ Stevie B mix on Mixcloud is cool and hits a welcome spot of orgasmic yet comfortable pleasure. In times of high impact stress I guess the familiar is the trampoline that pushes us through the burning loop.

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DJ STEVIE B

As a side note I deeply thank my clients and friends who support my little business and humbly ask for the increased and continuation of such. Yes with increasing measure I hope my client base grows considerably. Damn I am flipping great at my career and quite frankly deserve a bit honey on my Swiss rye bread toast. Like seriously already.

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VIDEO: A FEW REASONS YO MAKE ME YOUR HAIR GURU

These ‘SLIPTOVER’ makeovers are recent; the last week in fact. I hope that they inspire you to express yourself differently for a bit. The most wonderful thing is that behind each of these stunning looks is a magnificent human with amazing stories of bravery to tell. We all do in fact! Sometimes even changing ones look requires leaning on the bravery of the stylist you choose.

CHOOSE ❤️!

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

AJB•

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Justice in adversity

Light dances through my humble home skimming my knees that graze the floor. Yes, he is praying.

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CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB

midst the hysteria, angst and volatile emotions one can easily absorb the nervousness. But ZA! Let’s not take our final bow yet. But AZ! I laughed yesterday when I realized that my nickname was the alphabetical order opposite of Zuid Africa. It is significant as the meaning of my name is Brave Champion of the Southern Forest.

Something is stirring in me. “Look beyond the obvious,” is the voice that guides me as I take the picture above. Accidentally but rather lit on fleek I read the passage from my Bible that I flipped open for the sake of the pic. Most times I just read the Bible app in my phone. I read and the sentence, aptly the title of today’s blog, burns a path in me. Recently a brilliant entrepreneurial mind and major success story, Marnus Broodryk voiced disdain on FB regarding the ‘hard-done-by-sentiment’ of many South Africans. He is on a national tour to promote his book, ‘90 Rules for Entrepreneurs’.

<<<<<<<<

cannot wait to get my hands onto a copy. Being a young, clueless upstart into self-sufficiency I have mega lessons to learn. The paragraph in my Bible that has prompted this blog, an answer to a question I put, not only to my own psyche but my HIGHER POWER, being, “How did countries rebuild themselves after WW2?” Till date this is probably the greatest source of tenacity and do-over we as a country in crises have to draw from.

Luke 18 vs 1-9, tells the story of persistent widow. What stands out for me is not so much the prayer, albeit an incredibly important action, but the continuous action to do what could be done by the widow.

1) She got up

2) She showed up

3) She nagged the judge

In other words she fought for her justice!

My favorite international DJ provides some mojo today.

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DJ STEVIE B In the tell-all and brilliantly mastered book by Jacques Pauw, The President’s Keepers’, a blow by blow account of the dismantling of ZA is told in shocking but magnificent detail. My heart pounds as I read page after page. A war was waged on our glorious country by an evil tactician and he near won. But what he hasn’t accounted for is us. The people of this land. The people, the populace, the fighters, the overcomers, the wild ones of Africa South. I mean seriously our global conquering king, Nelson Mandela cane out of prison and became an international sensation. 75 years of apartheid struggle, 27 years of prison. Madiba!!!!!! That is our ancestry. Yes we got bamboozled by a commercial break but we see clearly now. ZUMA/GUPTA/ANC near brought us to the brink of destruction but there is a hope.

Below are some articles that I found online that are informative reads about rising out of the ashes. AFRICA ZUID our work has begun and it is not the time to get drunk, despondent and or depressed. We have a country to build!!!

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REBUILDING (1)

REBUILDING (2)

REBUILDING (3)

STORY TIME: Serving Soup:

Mozambique, near Bella Vista, on a 99 hectare plot of land, I had been saved by a penny and hanging onto life by goodwill. My worst fears had been realized. I was a bum, jobless and dependent on others. Although it was neatly packaged and I had food everyday, a bed to sleep in and basic government medical care, I was destitute. The Counsellor’s were buying me toothpaste and soap to bathe. Needless to say my ego was bruised to say the least. I hated straight men, I boxed them the same as my gangster father. Now these very same men were caring for me and I had no power or means to resist. The sweltering heat and constant taunts by narrow-minded and misplaced judgements from other patients cut deep. My facades of the past were exposed and I had to face it. Imagine….a foreigner in a country. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The only avenue I had was the care received, which was top notch and my intense belief in my HIGHER POWER. I had to resist stealing bits of chocolate. I know that it sounds funny. When you don’t have and lavishness surrounds you in the form of chocolate it is hard to not want to resort to criminal activity. Obviously the rich kids played out their elitist action by sharing with those that could share back. It hurt like hell. After however long the rehab, HEALING WINGS, allowed me the opportunity to generate an income by charging R20 a haircut. Boy, did the good times roll. I had chocolate and I could share. The manipulators tried and successfully took advantage for a while. I had to address my ego. I was an award-winning hairstylist from Sandton doll, cutting hair with mediocre equipment for R20 in rehab. Seriously! Talk about being humbled….🤣🤣🤣🤣!

Why this story?

In a time such as this where our country is in dire straits due to the mafia activities of a Zuma/ Gupta/ANC regime, we must rise.

Being the willing participant in a recent scam, I am back to desperate. With food back to real basics and money owed I am fighting the urge to bury my head in the sand. Although the blessing is that my God-given talent will pull me through I have to humble myself again. I fell in love with someone who manipulated me to extend myself towards his goals. Yes, I stood to make a little money in the side, which was why I fell for it, I didn’t know that I was being scammed until ‘too late she cried’.

So here is the thing:

I, like you want to reach my full potential of success. It’s all I have ever wanted. To prove to myself that I am not the ‘boy from the wrong side of the tracks’ with a broken history, and not so popular point of view. I have been an equal opportunity, non-racist, liberal, anti-elitist, pro-creationist, freedom-fighter since I can remember. My vocal rantings, oft have me being rapped over the knuckles because I am deeply passionate. Most people struggle with vocal people as we tend to upset the apple-cart….🤣😜!In a time where more of us find ourselves in difficult circumstances these are the times when we must deploy wise action.

‘WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING!’

We will need to cut back our expenditure, potentially lower our prices and/or give value add, live in shared accommodation, get creative with what we have and always remember to share. “God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9 vs7) I remember starting out from scratch in 2012 with nada. Throughout the last few years I have had to deploy extreme caution. When I failed to do so I cracked and burned. Unfortunately being an extremist by nature I don’t do mediocre well. So if I fail or succeed it is spectacularly colourful, either way. I may not be a Marnus Broodryk yet, but I do know this…. you and I are made from the same substance as the stars. We are not made for second best. We are made to be powerful, productive and brilliant.

SOUTH AFRICA OR AFRICA SOUTH; WE CAN AND WILL DO THIS!

We all are, at present, beingcalled to be Brave Champions of the Southern Forest!We all are being called to stop being the President’s Keeper!We are all being called to join our differences and show our wild side; the side that cannot be kept down even after 27 years of prison!We are the people who won the World Cup! We will rise!

Choose ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

•AJB•

CHOOSE ❤️

As the hours move speedily towards what invariably promises to be a flat Christmas, my heart weeps. Look I am not speaking negatively or wishing any bad crap over my life; not at all. On the contrary. With people sending me all sorts of voice notes, reading material and bits and bobs about scams that are running riot, I just know many are sitting in the seat of ‘victim of crime’. The insane part is that I do not blame the criminals. Well at least not the petty criminals. I would do the same if I had no other option. No job, no income, no means of survival. Even online dating sites are riddled with people selling sex services to survive. As financial restraints climb so too desperate measures. I have even thought about selling my treasured, albeit untrained, art to try make ends meet since my own personal run-in with being bamboozled.

Blow by blow as I make money, sacrificing healthier foods for more basic necessities and starting to pay the responsibilities I have, life is going to be tough for a while. Look, I am not complaining. Compared to the majority of the worlds population I still have it easy. No, if I am going to blame anyone or anything it simply comes down to egoism and elitism. Because 1 man decided that their life is more important than another yesteryear we, globally, sit in a crises where undereducated, undernourished, un-nurtured, despondent, desperate people are rising up against the oppressor. Sadly I have to confess that it is the guilt of a pale skin that has created this upsurge in hostilities. Rightly so. Come on now don’t hate on me for speaking the truth plainly. If roles were to be reversed, how long would us ‘whitees’ have put up with it? Not long I can tell you. Part of the fundamental make-up of men is the ‘Conquerer’. We men, however, and some ladies too forgot to conquer by volunteering freewill from the conquered. No we dominated, beat down and lost the very shining example of our so-called westernized religiosity. We claimed territories in the name, oft, of civil Christianity; taming the barbarian. We did it the wrong way! Instead of creating equality, we created a barbaric institution of slave and master. We still repeat that same shameful practice today in 2017. So no I don’t blame the petty criminals. I blame ourselves. All of ourselves!

I sit on my patio watching my teeny tiny neighbour build his nest for his beau. The rat race scourges towards the inevitable conclusion of self-preservation. Mixcloud offers up some groovy side notes to my morning. Coffee is bitter but seems poignant for my mood of late. Carefully wrapped in a sarong I am conscious to not flag my Morningside traffic with an eyeful.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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MARK O CONNOR: HOME

As an extremist and eccentric I cannot help but instinctively gravitate towards different to me. I often joke with my female clients about the fact that they are from Venus. Girls are just weird…..🤣🤣🤣😜! What I mean is that they fluctuate; well at least regarding their personal statements of expression. I think this why they do my head in. I am forever trying to take the information they give me and try to get as close as I can to meeting those demands, within the confines of budget and Hair preservation. Giiiiiiirls, sometimes no is no 😜. Not because we want to be bitches, us stylists, but because we want to save you a world of hell going forward. The endless struggle of stylists. Aaaaaargh!

Nuf said! Whether consciously or unconsciously each of us has become privy to the rigors of compliance to standardized norms. These norms are guided by the self-gain interpretation of religion, bias, judgement and propaganda based educational systems. Now I am not anti any of these things but when it creates prisoners of thought and doesn’t encourage diversity there is something morbidly wrong. Can we not see it? As an outsider, simply because I don’t conform well, I see it daily as a stylist. Everybody wants different as long as they look like everybody’s different and still look like themselves. What for? Some of my most playful moments come from not fitting the mould. Never have and probably never will. I can’t help myself. I just prefer different! Lol!

HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF: WHY AM I THE WAY I AM? WHY DO I LIKE WHAT I LIKE?

I did at 28 for the for the first time. I realized that I was defined by my job, the ‘horrorscopes’, by the perceptions of others about me, my history, my understanding of that history and my expression of my inner desires. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Although I am still on a journey towards greater authenticity, I see clearly that the only task worth indulging in is love. And fiercer than Beyonce I am endearing myself with greater propensity to that cause. Hopefully it will also bring me some wealth to do more of it….lol.

{if anyone wants to help me become that…kindly teach me to do so for myself 😜…. goodness knows I need a business mind to turn my brand and dreams into a powerhouse}

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

AJB•

YOUR HIDDEN TREASURE

Slicing the chase; my personal history is comparable to peddled self-doubt.

What does this mean? From the super-spiritual to the interpretations of events, I was sold down the river. It is a long winded tale. Every kind of abuse, self-inflicted and by others has braised my life with crippling consequences. As a follow on from SWEET SUNDAY PERVE, I woke up this morning in my tranquil home, coffee in hand with a pressing question, “What is self-love?”

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SWEET SUNDAY PERVE

n an attempt to create the mood of this blog, as an experiential experiment, please play the following mix off Mixcloud to feel the depth of this blog. This 3 hr collection, truly expresses the journey of self-love. At times we float along, scratch a way forward, trip up and feel like giving up. From experience I have seen and still do that magic happens in each movement. The journey is an authentic one built on the simple fact that we are born to be kings and queens.

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DREAMS IN BLUE 003

(pic I took this AM of bits and pieces to talk about ‘HIDDEN TREASURES’)

I guess the right place to start is…..

You are not the sum of your life, job, money, beauty, body, mind and/or desires.

What I mean is that we are the version of ourselves that is prescribed in the etchings of love. It is in this that our organic preference is untainted. The easiest explanation is found in children. As a stylist I am often amazed by the ideas of my young clients. No matter the age, outspoken children have very definite ideas about their hair. The shy kids take some work to build trust but eventually also become vocal about their preferences. Often I wish parents would back off from being controlling and just observe these little ones express their ideas without judgement. So often parents create unnecessary insecurities by imposing their personal desires onto these little sponges. Some kids authentically love bedhead hair, others tidy, others wants punky colours and some want to fit in. When a friend fell pregnant I had the wonderful experience of watching her son in the first few years of his life. When he could walk my car keys, shoes and everything else ended up in the bin or loo.

I was amazed that he had observed our behaviours and duplicated them.

It remains a tragedy to me that I never had children of my own. By that I mean adopting. At 43 I have made peace with living vicariously through the lives of other parents.

This next story is a deeply disturbing one but a reality for me. The spiritual war on my life has been a distinctive one. Why? I wish that I knew. Please understand it takes a lot to share this weird story, but for context of this blog it is essential. Be kind in your judgement as many have dig the dagger of hate in deeply.

I cannot remember exactly the age I was, but an intelligent estimate, about 1. My mom was sleeping with me in her arms when something started to pull me out of her arms. Switching the light on, fighting this intruder, she realized that it was a spiritual entity. Nothing physical was visible. She often told how she had never been so frightened and prayed like she had never prayed before. Something tried to take the life ahead of me in the most disturbing and bizarre way. It has left a cautionary scar! A spiritual scar that has created a beast in me that must fight for the belief in truth and love. Today 42 years later, I have come to accept that spiritual is so a part of me that I cannot separate myself from it. It pours out of me in everything I do. Good or bad. It has taken mega heartache to get to a point of accepting myself as valid.

Valid like each and every person on this planet, gone, here now and still to come!

(This screenshot, ⬆️, a blog from Huffington post, authored by Elyse Santilli, titled: ‘8 Ways to Increase Your Self-love’)

After my last relationship ended, I took to healing myself through blogging. I went back to basics in every way. I went back to the therapy notes and lessons. I stopped the onslaught of the world by isolating myself from it. I decided that the most valid input would come from my Higher Power. I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t lose myself anymore trying for the approval from other humans. My innocence had been robbed through sexual abuse and my trust of the world broken by emotional and physical abuse from a cruel father. I spent so many years perpetuating that self-hatred through sexual promiscuity, addiction and people-pleasing because I didn’t feel valid. I seriously thought that the world was better off if I was dead. I was of no use, just trouble. And boy did I co-create some spectacular messes!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sometimes, irritatingly, like still smoking I still self-harm. The process of getting myself back to a point of self-love is quicker. Miracles happen, daily around me now. I see it in the feedback I get from friends who love me so dearly that they spank me emotionally when I second guess myself. I see it in the tiny growth of my business that I started with R600 in my pocket, the connection I experience with my new relationship, my better use of responsibility, and the love I feel for others as I prompt them to be their authentic selves. Everyday, male, female, straight, not, religious, agnostic and hurt or healing makes a point of hugging or getting a dose of my antics that are crude but affirming it a non-judgemental way. Yip, I am that guy that deliberately deploys shock tactic to cut the wheat from the chaff. It’s naughty and in-your-face. I don’t really care. Time goes by so fast that trying to mollycoddle people to let go of silly restraints is not my idea of fun. My personal mantra: live laugh, be, explains me well.

After years of trying to get people to love me because I didn’t know how, isolation brought me into contact with a love that runs so deep. So deep in fact that I am well aware that I haven’t even begun to scratch below water level yet. But my heart pours out for #❤️🌍🌈, profoundly. We chase power, money, sex, status, validation whilst all the while sacrificing ourselves. We make ourselves slaves. Like myself, we all need a dose of organic and authentic self-love. I hope my little journey will inspire you to stop and discover the star substance in yourself.

SO WHAT HAVE I LEARNT ABOUT SELF-LOVE?

STEP OUT OF DENIAL:

Much like a kid in a toy shop, our eyes are seduced by the colours, shapes and excitement of new things. Separating ourselves from the stimulants that distract us from noticing ourselves is essential. In our private sanctuary, that safe space, we need to to put it out there that we are raising our white flags and acknowledge that our best shot at life yielded some results. We need to accept that perhaps there is more to this life than we think or know. I mean, logically speaking, if we had all the answers wouldn’t we be living perfect lives? Once we are in the toy shop again, rather than being seduced, we notice what we instinctively are drawn to. We ask ourselves, “Why do I like this? Is it drawing me to something else inside of me that needs healing? What is that healing needed and how do I find the answers?”

The answers do come. Sometimes it hurts because we are at fault, other times we gain victory from false perceptions. Each lessons inspires us to search more. The rainbow in us begins to unfold.

BEING GRATEFUL:

This is a tricky part! Being grateful is not just saying thank you for our lives. Grateful is also about allowing ourselves to be moved and changed for the better. It is about not beating others down to achieve our personal goals. It is more about becoming an equal citizen that allows ourselves and others to win through our respective talents. Gratitude is the actioning of the idea that each of us is on this planet and each of us should be granted the tools to thrive. Thriving and striving is the name of the game. We are born to be kings and queens.

GETTING BACK TO BASICS:

As we all know, when we move house we chuck a lot of stuff. We tend to gather things that collect dust in moth eaten boxes in the back-bottom if the attic or garage. From time to time we need to reassess ourselves and see if we have moved away from the process of giving ourselves time to discover our uniqueness and our gifts to be shared in the world.It happens so easily, distraction! One way that I recognize that I am moving towards falseness is if I find myself judging instead of trying to understand. I am not talking about calling out bad behaviours. But when I call it out in a manner that demeans others then chances are I am hurting myself too. When I hurt, my flawed humanity wants to lash out and make others feel my pain. It takes so much learning to adjust this but it is better than ever before. You? It is times of tripping up that we need to acknowledge our humanity, make amends and laugh at our fragility. We all do it so it doesn’t make us bad, just learning.

DAILY:

Every day we need to give ourselves a pat on the back for the good things we did. Why this is important is because our brokenness wants to point us to our failings. Eventually as we practice doing our goodness it becomes a natural flow in our daily lives. It is here however, where deploying wisdom is necessary. In our new state of goodwill we can easily become prey to people who are still captured by predatorial accents. This process of daily, taking stock and recognizing the distractions from our authenticity grows us into a hard and fast foundation of truth. It is in this sharpening of our iron that we begin to stand for goodness as we self-adjust our lives to look like the heart we find inside ourselves.

THE MAGIC:

This is where I am beginning to walk. Over the last few months, blessings have been poured out onto me. I am not talking about fee-rides. I am talking about the rewards of my discipline and choosing to become a connected part of a universal love. Life is still far from my dreams but each moment I am aware that my dreams are near. I cannot wait to have the budget to create an international ad campaign for SLIPT. I dream of creating an uninhibited, emotional art piece that declares war on the status quo. I dream of a global impact that gives greater license to freedom of expression that is outside of hate, anger and man-made restrictions. I dream of SLIPT being a beacon of hope to others to take the journey towards a life lived well for all.

Magic is where we raise others by being the person we are born to be!

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

AJB•

Withstanding

The above pic of Iceberg Roses really cuts the right mood for this Sunday. In Sandown, Johannesburg, South Africa the overcast weather is moody but comforting. The following Mixcloud mix lends a charming yet ethereal quality to the morning.

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DREAMS IN BLUE

Nibbling on Tiramisu for breakfast, whilst my guest snuggles into the duvet, I occupy my heart with reflections of the timely gifts that are coming to me. For so long, trying to keep my head above water, surviving the calamity’s of my past, has been tough. As many who have messed up a bit will say, it is hard to self-motivate in the face of harsh and often exaggerated criticism. Worse yet are the suedo-friendships, that stab the dagger in just a little deeper. Thankfully at a time like this I can truly say that I am surrounded by a life that is enviable. Enviable because authenticity flows organically and love is deep and intimate. Even my new chapter of a new potential relationship is riddled with connection and care. It is a little scary being in this uncharted waters. It is uncharted for me. Most of my past lovers the connection seemed to stop at a level. This time I am finding myself at depths that leave me breathless and frightened. I don’t know a life without angst. Years gone by my heart fought so hard against itself. I craved this depth but settled for whatever I could get. I guess it is the expected outcome from a heart smashed against rocks by reckless people. Still, i would rather be the hurt guy than being a carbon copy of so many people who invest energy into vandalizing the hearts of others; carelessly. Being in a moment, and I hope with all sincerity that is travels a long distance. The analyst in me is intrigued to discover the difference of mindset due to the fact that his and my life is vastly different. I am ecstatic to learn about this person, who has a depth of live that is startling to be part of. Aaaaaaargh, patience will have to be deployed to draw out the essence of this man’s heart so that it can live its fullness. Reigning from a part of the world where one “sin” is held up over as worse than the “adulterers” who judge it so has taken a toll to this sensitive masculine heart.

It has taken 15 years of working on myself to get to a point of accepting myself as myself. It will take the rest of my life to explore that person I almost destroyed because of the inadequacy of a world I find myself in. We all do! And for what? That another cruel task-master might have a notch on their belt that says they murder humanity.

Our violent unwillingness to judge ourselves and others with a loving mindset destroys the fiber that holds us together…..humanity!

I cannot understand why we hate eachother so much. As the tears pour out of me, unstoppable, I wonder how many people are crying out of terror and pain in the world right now. I feel my energy being shared to the angst of a world. I pray that love heals, realizes dreams, breaks hate, raises lives, smiles onto tears, and upholds care for all equally.

How lucky I am to have a different moment where the depths of the love I have always felt is being carried deeper.

I find my spirit dancing on the history that turned me into a kind, generous, loving, human.

I was fortunate to catch the majesty of this double rainbow, yesterday in Hyde Park, Johannesburg, South Africa. In my 43 years of my humble life, I have never seen each colour of the rainbow so visibly. I wish you could’ve seen it. Each colour cut an exact line of its glory alongside each other glory.

CAN WE JUST NOT LET US HUMANS BE THE SAME….YOUR GLORY, MY GLORY, OUR GLORY?

In ‘Conversations in a Cab 23’, the driver, had some interesting and thought provoking insights into the World Dom his perspective. To listen to it Click ⬇️.

CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 23

As I nibble on breakfast, enjoying a moment, feeling the joy, accepting my blessings, counting my gratitude, thanking my HIGHER POWER and thinking of the world at large, I hope that peace carries you through every moment of this day.

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

•AJB•

STRANGE FICTION

I kind of like this pic I took of this diamanté bracelet. It speaks of mystery, leaving me wishing that the night before was accompanied by decadent fabulosity. Dismaying not. Yesterday the world was aflutter with questions and encouragement to walk away from a lovely scenario but lacking enriching character. In a delightful turn of events, I got spellbound to a sensational looking man from Kinshasa. This, if it had yielded desirable results, would have been the great multi-cultural relationship I have yearned for. I have no idea why my preference is of a different skintone to me. It just is! It is strange. The connection is beyond words but the follow through…..uhm nah. It has also left caution in my being. Caution because to find an another who is a contributor, on all levels, that is mutual and reciprocal. But it is eina regardless. Mostly because I am not used to walking away from a love affair. By nature, I am a fighter and I do so until the I usually am the last man standing. Just for once I would love to know what it is like to have the full package deal that travels a distance longer than a Shakespearian death scene.

The world seems to be filled with boys in men’s bodies who have gone off there rocker. Hetrofluid, Trump, Zuma, Gupta, Las Vegas shooter, Isis, North Korea Hydrogen bomb, Putin, Mugabe, Gupta, Wife beaters, mafia syndicates, child sex slavery rising, bisexual or married men on gay dating sites, men who seem to think that general disrespectful life and anything other than the c_c_ is perfectly ok to ignore.

CAN THE REAL MEN PLEASE STAND UP

If we are supposed to be the head of the house can someone please tell me why the house is in ashes and a disgraceful embarrassment to me as a man. Now I know that this is a generalization but I can promise you that as a Hairstylist I here the running commentary that repeats a dreary pattern.

Although an argument can be put forward regarding preferences let’s put that on the back burner as being an experience in life that yields difficult judgement from the mainstream understanding at large.

I have done my fair share of wrongs that I have had to address and actively work on in myself. But when I see men above my status in life carrying on regardless I wonder what the hell is going on in this world. Strange fiction cannot be conjured up by all the going’s on.

In Conversations in a Cab 21 yesterday I dared to relate the story of being put into a situation where I had to foot the bill for a night out. Although we couldn’t delve into it as my trip ended it has opened the door regarding the perception of white ZA having money and the blindedness to the fact that BBBEE has in fact turned the tables in an ‘NEW ORDER APARTHEID’. I am anti-all inequality. But worse yet I am anti-free hand-outs. Not because it is necessary to do so in setting wrongs right but because it creates people who become dependent on a freebie. As a person that has had to claw themselves from an awful childhood and a destructive addiction, a free pass would have kept me feeling sorry for myself and avoiding taking responsibility for my choices.

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CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 21

I started running a colour discount promo last week that is proving to be grabbing attention of others. Below is a GLAMOVER that I did. I hope that my little video inspires you to express yourself in an authentic way.

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CHARLIE’S GLAMOVER: FREEHAND NAIL ARTIST EXTRAORDINAIRE

As a parting thought to the man in all of us, be we female or male I lend my thoughts to the man in me and ask:

AM I DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO LOVE OTHERS

CHOOSE ❤️

Stay your amazing self

✌🏽

AJB•

Precarious

Sitting in the back of a cab on my way to a complete strangers environment!

It is exhilarating! After a few weeks of spinning my wheels, for an another, I have had to accept that I may have barked up the wrong tree. I WAS HOPING NOT, AND STILL DO. However, if said another is not setting ALL the cards on the table; done is what must be so. Sadly!

A moment that has caught me by surprise is the reason for my journey into another’s space. It is a while since I was invited, organically and authentically, to another’s environment. So in the cab passing Emmarentia Dam to Melville, Johannesburg, South Africa the view is uplifting and bright green. The rains have blown the green the landscape into full saturation.

Emmarentia dam, Johannesburg

What an experience!

A quick little picture diary, the sequence of events that created a most memorable time!

The restaurant

The wonderful cooks

Fish… it was awesome!

Points of view from the Taxify cab of YEOVILLE, JOHANNESBURG.

THE BLUE SQUARE, IN THE PIC….

THE STORY:

After a pretty spectacular dinner, the fish was fresh and the phenomenal flavoring was gobsmacking, a night of being the only pale skin in a bar ensued. It was daunting. I did my best to gel in but it was hard when one stands out simply based on ones skin. Needless to say, whether stupid, brave or both I needed to represent. I did in the way I know best. The dance floor. It wasn’t long before I had captured the eyes of all and sundry. My friends thoroughly enjoyed the spectacle I showed. Apparently people were amazed that I was sober and had the guts to let it all hang out on the floor. I held nothing back. Besides the fact that I love dancing, I wanted to show that I wasn’t intimidated by others with obviously different skin. It worked and by the end of the evening I had rocked the house to a standstill. It has been a loooong time since I could just let my hair down and be free to enjoy myself. I was protected and felt safe. Dancing created a point of connection and friendliness paved the bridge from the cultural divide. It was an amazing night that I will not forget easily.

Chilling afterwards and discussing the cultural differences of Congolese, Cameroonian, Nigerian and white 🇿🇦 perspective brought a greater level of acceptance and understanding. It was an incredible exchange of life.

In the following video, SWEET SUNDAY PERVE, Tee and I got a little personal regarding our different experiences. To watch our amateur but insightful video click ⬇️.

SWEET SUNDAY PERVE In, ‘ Conversations in a Cab 20’, the Driver opened up about some experiences having grown up in Apartheid South Africa. The story of his cousin, a young teenager, being arrested for 15 years for taking an emergency whizz against a wall is Sad and outrageous. To listen click ⬇️.

CONVERSATIONS IN A CAB 20
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, may offer some avenues to explore, whilst looking great adventures whilst looking smokin’ hot. And getting a more blow by blow account of my mission to be the kind of human that is opening doors to a more integrated society.

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PROMO OFFERINGS

Like Mmusi Maimane said in his Heritage day Speech, “ Integrated suburbs, not white suburbs or black suburbs, etc, but cross-cultural suburbs.’ After my experience of last-night I cannot wait for the vibe, the flavors, the colours and the experiences of cultures different to my own colonial upbringing. A world of wonderful rainbow colored experiences await us. They await our willing hearts to explore beyond our immediate short-sightedness. In a time where so much misunderstanding, unresolved truths, rebellious hate and high suspicions prevail, life must be lived amongst each-other freely to create this he unity we all need to survive.

I FOR ONE AM KEEN!

Taking a pose, and being all coy!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BUT!

Not that it is a judgement; more like a bit of friendly advice. If one is going to embark on a journey of discovery as South Africans, trying to u it’s our divided nation, keep ones wits about you. The mistake that I have made was to be seduced by the invite into another world. In a time when 55% of 🇿🇦’s are living below the breadline, are mostly dissatisfied with our government corruption and desperate to reach for their dreams, easy targets are devoured. What I mean is this. I allowed the guilt of my countries history to shame me because of my skin colour. I then over-compensated to allow myself to accepted by people outside of my comfort zone. It was expected that I cough up money and carry the financial burden of a great night out. Thankfully it gave me some great insights into the lives of other humans, the financial price small to pay for the authentic experience of being a guy in a different cultural experience. But the next time I go on another outing into the lives of others I will definitely limit what I share, willingly, with others. The reason is not to be frugal but because the needs of others is so great that I would destroy myself in the process of proving that my history is not who I am. The next time I get to have a phenomenal experience, my hope lies in a more evenly spread communal shared responsibility.

This brings me to my point.

It is easy to say this is wrong or right, sometimes it easy so black and white. For the most part, considering various factors, it is going to be a bit of give and take across the board from all people to make the conscious effort to meet each-other 1/2 way. It is the only solution, if we as a nation, citizens on a mutually shared planet have any chance of not killing each-other to achieve our dreams.

To end this blog, for some soothing but uplifting vocals listen to the Mixcloud mix listed below.

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SUBTLE BUT SEXY TUNES

Choose ❤️

Stay your amazing self!

✌🏽

•AJB•